Argument with spouse

[FunLion]

Told husband about mother and sister potentially staying with us while they visit to see dying relative. He said " i hope they are not expecting to stay here". I was dumbfounded. He apologised and expected me to accept apology straight away but i didnt as i was so shocked as to what he said. I still cannot believe he said it. This has lead to a huge argument and he was tryin to turn it back on me. Anyones opinion please on whether i should take apology. So hurt.

How long are they expecting to stay? Do you have space? I think these are important factors.

Plenty of room. 2 nights.

I feel theres no excuse for his reaction tho!

Well then it does seem an unreasonable reaction, assuming there's no hideous bad blood between him and them.

No bad blood between them. Thank u for your comment.

You know it's ok for him to say he doesn't want your mother and sister staying. The same as it's ok for you to veto his family or friends staying if you want to. It's something that you should ask him about, not tell him as if it's a done deal.

Their relative is terminal. I'd expect anyone to show some decency, respect and compassion in this situation, and not moan about family members staying over for a couple of days while they wait for their loved one to die.

It's ok for him to have reservations though. You say a couple of days but presumably you mean for however long they need to stay. He has reflected and apologised but you won't accept it.

Nah, it’s not OK in this situation. It never would be.

If his reaction was different, like respectful, then I couldve had an ADULT conversation. But to react like he has, then I am firmly standing my ground. Expecting me to be "over it" as soon as he says sorry! Like i said to him, if the shoe was on the other foot, the door would be open for his family. Thats what family do for family, am i right?

Staying for 2 nights only

So how do you expect to move forward? He reacted strongly to the news but then apologised, but you now seem to be the one having a strop?

He was rude to just burst out 'I hope they aren't staying' like that. I'd be upset too. He could have said - oh, will they need to stay and pulled an unenthusiastic face but going any further was not on imo.

But it depends on how fully he has explained/aplogised I suppose, how pissed off you should still be?

I dont think i am having a "strop".
Just dont think its something I can forgive that quickly. Just need a little more time to "get over" what he said and how he said it. I think the problem is that I seem to be too forgiving in the past and too nice to accept his family if they ever need help.

Have they or other guests outstayed their welcome before?

No never outstayed welcome. He just thinks straight away about how it will affect him!!!

DierdreDaphne
He laughed when i said "i cannot believe you said that"...tried to worm his way out of it by sayin he didnt mean it like he said it 🤔bull💩

You need to calm down and accept his apology. No good will come out of continuing this dispute.