Husband and his colleague at work

[Bitsandbobs2]

Hello everyone!
DH changed jobs in 2024.
He (41) works together with young lady (28). They are responsible for the whole department so they do lots of things together. Looks like their CEO is very happy with them as both got promoted, payrise, etc.
However, I have concerns that they (DH and her)are more than colleagues.
Few months ago I noticed DH is talking only about her. I thought it's quite normal as they basically spend all working day together. He used to talk about her projects, her ideas,etc. Suddenly, he started to talk about her personal things, for example:

• she has lots of tattoos and he was very upset she decided to get one more, "he doesn't like it"
• she lives with a housemate who is male and DH constantly talking that he is not a good person, she should live alone
• being upset that she is bad with money and bought expensive designer shoes
• she doesn't like kids and doesn't want to have them - DH constantly upset about it because he loves kids.

I told him that I feel weird about him talking this and he shouldn't be interested in his colleagues personal life. He then stops for day or two and "mentionitis " starts again.
Yesterday, he came back home at 5 pm and by 5.30 pm he mentioned her 3 times.
Our relationship (17 years together) had lots of issues recently - he gambled, we had massive problems with his abusive mother (I was assaulted by her in my own kitchen while pregnant and he was on his mothers side). I literally spent half of my life savings for counselling and had a hope that we can save our marriage.
And yes, he recently bought very expensive perfume for himself and I noticed changes in his behaviour at bed - different style of kissing, etc.

He has an affair, isn't he?

From what you have explained this is the end, better to get out now before its too late.

I know, through my job (HR) many many many people enter into affairs in the workplace. Emotional affairs are usually the messiest once one person starts to want more. I would not at all be surprised if this is on the brink of becoming an affair (or your husband wants it to) …I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’ve picked up so many fall outs of this sort of thing. It never ends happily for those who do it.

Do you have children together?

It might be better for you to make a break sooner rather than later.

And her hairs everywhere at home. My husband goes to gym every morning before work but I believe it's different kind of "exercising ". His work clothes are dry cleaned by company, so there is no chance he picked these hairs while sitting on the same chair, etc.

🤮