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Original poster

Is this normal at the minute ?

13 replies

Beckyboo34178 · 07/01/2026 14:44

Ex boyfriend has come back into my life, he’s 50 I’m 47. We lived together. Long story short every time there’s a social function or a wedding or a family birthday of his family and friends, I’m not invited. It’s like he’s embarrassed to let anyone know we are seeing each other again. I know he’s would of put me down to everyone when we split and would most likely have not said good things but how is there a future if I’m just left behind and have to stay at home all time. It was never like this before. I’m so sad that I feel not good enough anymore or important but what is the real reason you think in to why he’s doing this ?

OP posts:
EchoesOfOurDreams · 07/01/2026 14:46

I don't think it's normal at all.

Could be possibly be seeing someone else or is even married now and you're his bit on the side, hence why he's being all secretive about you getting back together?

itsraining2024 · 07/01/2026 14:47

He’s seeing someone else too. When things go wrong there he comes to you.

EchoesOfOurDreams · 07/01/2026 14:47

Also have you spoken to him about why he's doing this and if so what does he say?

mindutopia · 07/01/2026 15:05

How long have you been back together and how serious is the current relationship?

There is a big difference between 2 months and you’re just seeing what happens vs 2 years and he’s been talking marriage.

I wouldn’t necessarily bring someone I’d been dating again for a few months to a family function. Also if you weren’t invited to the wedding or someone’s birthday party, it’s not like he can just turn up with you. If it was a difficult enough relationship that it ended and probably quite painfully if you previously lived together, I can see why he’s taking things slow and not making a big fuss too early on.

Original poster
Beckyboo34178 · 07/01/2026 15:05

I haven’t told him how I feel incase it just leads to another argument, he lives back with his mum. We were together for four years we split last sept

OP posts:
Ilovelurchers · 07/01/2026 15:08

I'm in a similar situation, but we are BOTH keeping our reconciliation on the low down.

Bascially because both of us got a lot of support from family and friends when we split, so we feel a bit silly saying, actually we are back together.

I guess we will give it 12 months or so, and if we are still going strong, we'll let people know.

But bascially, to me this is understandable, and I wouldn't worry.

Notarealblonde · 07/01/2026 15:22

Id leave him to be honest and focus on myself.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 07/01/2026 15:34

I would urge you to stop wasting your life on this man. A man who at 50 still lives a home with his mother. Why is he living at home with her?. He is living there because he wants to and he can always use her as a reason/excuse why relationships do not work out.I am yet to come across a man living with his mother who is able to have a healthy relationship with a girlfriend.

If telling him how you feel leads to another argument that is another red flag re him. He is keeping you apart from his family and friends; yet another red flag.

Raise your bar here big time and dump him. Get therapy for yourself as to why you chose to go back to him. He may be familiar but he is no good to you.

TheSandgroper · 07/01/2026 15:37

Well, if he gets a shag from you, you have the answer to your question. One would hope he’d not be getting that from his mother.

Deliberations · 07/01/2026 15:38

I haven’t told him how I feel incase it just leads to another argument

This alone is a red flag. If you are avoiding telling him your feelings in case it leads to an argument then I'm sorry this relationship is not a good one.

Also again - as above - it depends how long you've been "back together" if it's 2-3 months kind of understandable that he hasn't let his family and friends. If youve been back together for 6 or more months I'd be more concerned.

Clutterbug2026 · 07/01/2026 15:42

You already split up with him, he isn’t telling people about you and you’re scared to raise an issue in case it causes ‘another argument’. He isn’t worthy of you.

Loubelou71 · 07/01/2026 16:38

I suppose you haven't been back together all that long. Maybe he's thinking of you can both prove your relationship then he'll share.

Nosdacariad · 07/01/2026 20:33

Beckyboo34178 · 07/01/2026 14:44

Ex boyfriend has come back into my life, he’s 50 I’m 47. We lived together. Long story short every time there’s a social function or a wedding or a family birthday of his family and friends, I’m not invited. It’s like he’s embarrassed to let anyone know we are seeing each other again. I know he’s would of put me down to everyone when we split and would most likely have not said good things but how is there a future if I’m just left behind and have to stay at home all time. It was never like this before. I’m so sad that I feel not good enough anymore or important but what is the real reason you think in to why he’s doing this ?

It sounds like he is keeping his options open.

Has he damaged your reputation with his family & friends and if so with truth or lies?

I would be expecting him to put that right before giving him any boyfriend privileges, especially since he's not treating you like a girlfriend.

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