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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Great Father's Day present, would like to get one for my dad, but is it a can of worms...

9 replies

bohemianbint · 12/06/2008 11:41

I bought this journal for my DH from our DS to give him on Sunday, because I thought it sounded like a really lovely idea. (Lots of questions for him to fill in so it makes a book for DS about DH when he is older.)

It's just arrived, and it is really lovely, and it's made me think I'd like to get my dad to fill one in for me.

But it's made me feel a bit sad at the same time, because my dad never talks about anything from when I was a kid (bad divorce with my mother, but he remarried when I was 5 and he and my step-mother brought me up) and there's things that ask about how your father met your mother etc, which he won't discuss, I imagine. He may also think it's shite and a total waste of time.

But it's really made me wish I'd done something similar when my gran was alive; she was full of stories and it's so hard to believe that all that went when she died last year. I'd hate my dad to die taking all his thoughts and stories without ever sharing them with me, but we've had a few bereavements in the last few years and it makes you think.

Would father's day be the ideal time to give it? Do you think he might percieve it as morbid? Or intrusive? It's made me realise my relationship with my dad is very strange, and not that close. To be honest I often feel like a massive disappointment to him, so that's why am not sure he'd want to do it for me.

OP posts:
TeriHatchetJob · 12/06/2008 11:46

I know what you mean.

I bought the Mothers version for mothers day and even though I'm close to my mum i felt it was a bit morbid in a way but when I gave it to her I explained what a lovely record it would be to pass onto my dcs and their dcs and how I wish I could read my grandparents thoughts of the time.

I can only suggest you somehow explain to your dad that he can do it in private and he only needs answer the questions he feels comfortable with and what a lovely thing to pass down through the generations.

Good luck.

littlewoman · 12/06/2008 13:19

I think it is nice that your children might want to know who you are as a person.

NotABanana · 12/06/2008 13:20

I bought my Nana a Grandparents book so she could fill in all about her life. When she died my Dad binned it.

Flier · 12/06/2008 13:21

my mum bought one of these to give to each of her gcs a couple of years ago, this thread has reminded me to ask her if she's managed to fill them in yet. I think its a fantastic idea.

bohemianbint · 12/06/2008 13:39

NotABanana - ! Had she filled it in? Why did he do that?

I suppose nothing ventured, nothing gained. I might try to order one quickly. He can always not do it I suppose. But on the other hand, he might, and that might be good for both of us...

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 12/06/2008 13:41

I bought one for my mum and dh's mum for Mother's day and my mum loved it. Sadly dh's mum was very flippant about it and just said she wasn't really into writing Sad that she wouldn't make a bit of effort for her son and grandchildren

I wrote a nice letter explaining why we'd bought it and how lovely it would be to understand and know her as a person (growing up etc) but I don't think she's that emotional tbh, must be where dh gets it from.

NotABanana · 12/06/2008 14:45

Past Times sell them.

My Dad is a git, that is why he binned it. Along with all my baby photos.
Doesn't surprise me. He is my father through DNA, that is all.

bohemianbint · 13/06/2008 14:40

NotABanana - how horrible. All my baby photos also went awol, think my mother's to blame for that.

Well, I ordered one, it came this morning. Will just have to wait and see how it's received.

OP posts:
NotABanana · 13/06/2008 14:54

I hope they agree to do it for you.

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