What do you and your dp/dh talk about?

[somanybabyseagulls]

We never have a conversation, I try, I get yes/no answers, he doesn't really try. We are going away for the weekend and I need some ideas of very mainstream things to chat about, not home, money, work or children. HELLLPPPP!!!!

Maybe check on bbc.co.uk/news for any interesting things that have happened recently? or sky.com/news - tends to be more sensationalist and interesting news!

Oooh, I do find we can get into a rut routine sometimes. Eg. Come home from work, how was your day darling? Talk about work/day/awful traffic jam. Watch tv. Comment on programme. go to bed. Repeat.!

A weekend away is a nice time to break that routine. What did you use to talk about pre-DC? Do you have any shared hobbies? What about current affairs/politics/sport/tv programmes? Your hopes/dreams/ambitions?

My P loves horseracing, I hate it BUT, i am prepared to start a conversation about it and listen (non)attentively while he rambles on and on (and on and on and on) and I know it works, I know me showing an interest in his 'hobby' brings us closer together, after a fashion

What about some of the stories from MN? Some of them can be sensationalist!

children, friends, work, news, future plans, holidays, tv programmes......

How about a joke? There are some funny ones in the only joking section.

Why not just stay silent until he makes conversation, let him take the lead. You might have a lovely peaceful weekend

God, my DH never shuts up. He exprsses every thought he is having.
Still, we talk about things we have done that day, stuff in the news, 'culturey' things like books or films - these are our common interests.
And MN does introduce some interesting topics, as Chica says.

Thanks for replies everyone. TimeforMe, if I don't attempt conversation he won't, sometimes the quiet can be too much.

Don't talk.

Shag.

Perfect weekend.

interesting idea mumblechum, has been a which since such activities have taken place in the seagull house.

SMBS If I don't do the talking my P thinks he has done something wrong, I get lots of attention

Mine is the opposite, if I don't talk he gets really moody but still doesn't make conversation, I get no attention at all.

Funny creatures aren't they It must be very tiring for you, having to make conversation just to avoid him getting moody. Even I like to be quiet sometimes and appreciate that my P doesn't talk a lot

Maybe talk about what he's interested in to get him warmed up!

Off the top of my head, we talk about news, politics, media bias, curing world poverty, recipes, places we'd like to visit, computer games, photography, coffee, movies. Anything I suppose.

This reminds me of a traning course at work where we were taught to ask open rather than closed questions to get people to talk more.

Basically - stop asking him questions that he can answer with yes or no and start asking him questions that he has to describe the answers to.

e.g.

Did you have a good day?
vs
What did you do today?

Isn't that Boris Jonson a tw*t?
vs
Why do you think Boris Johnson is/is not a twat?

It's tricky at first but since i learnt how I haven't been able to stop doing. People really respond to it and seem to ramble on forever once you've got them started.

Top topics in our house are what shall we have for dinner, Buffy the vampires slayer, what colour shall we paint the kitchen and, my favourite, the baby (6mths pg). But i don't suppose any of these will help you

me and my dp can be the same depending on mood and effort made

some days i'll be hi when he comes in theres your dinner

why didnt you text me

am i pretty

do i look fat

and did you see lots of fit girls

he works away and can get bit lonely and worried now

hi sexy

how was your day

i did this and that

make a joke

offer him sex later

often change it to a cuddle he he

but just snuggle with him on sofa listening about his day wiothout nodding off and just enjoying not rowing

then i will move into next room for some me time on tv in there and pop back and forth with funny convo on what im watching which normall leads into some funny memory from the day or past that generates into converstaion

Jessjess, thanks for that. I do try the open question thing but he is a master in closing down conversation (must try harder). Bubblagirl, your evening sound lovely, i want that!

was hard work he would be like talking to a brick wall once wouldnt hear what i was saying

getting the hump if i started to get annoyed about it

our saviour was my parents giving me tv for bedroom

as i always had tv palnned for myself dp had to watch what i wanted had no interest

found he wanted to relax for a bit and unwind and liked different programmes so i sit with him till 8 he watches top gear unwinding and i go in other room giving him some him time and then go back and ask him about what his watching look really interested laugh when he laughs and find we relax more with each other

and with that its easy to just oh yeah today this and this happened did you do that whatever

did you hear that joke etc

he said when he came home it didnt feel like home as he didnt get any time and never got to watch what he wanted and he just clammed up

so now i have found it works great also complimenting walking through to kitchen and just planting kiss on his head found he has strated doing things like that back

and i dont start a conversation on moaning at him or what a bad day ive had i leave it till we have got comfortable and say it in nice way as he will shut straight off otherwise

always have cherry note to come home to or express it in a thank goodness your home sexy ive had a tough one hows your day been first do you want a drink etc

took about a week for him to realise i hadnt been tasking drugs or been replaced by similar looking person but he responded well to my changes

im rubbish with spelling today sorry obviously cherry note would be the same as a cheery one lol

cherry note sounded a bit sexy!

"he is a master in closing down conversation (must try harder)"

Sounds v frustrating - are you sure it's not him that should be trying harder?

My DH is quite chatty. He is very into current events and history and has a pretty good sense of humour and has a story/anecdote/fact for everything. So we talk about that. We talk a lot about the DC. We talk about books/magazines we're reading and occasionally have the other read it too. We talk about what we're watching on telly. Thankfully, we have skyplus so he can pause the programme for awhile while we converse. Sometimes we chat about threads on MN, or on the Guardian political talkboard that he likes. We talk about ideas we have for businesses and inventions that we'll never really get around to doing. We never seem to run out of things to talk about -- FWIW, especially if I have PMT, I wish he would STOP talking.

Absolutely everything. He's a real gas bag

jessjess, you are right, he must try harder but won't so I am leading by example.

We talk about anything and everything - and the starting point is usually work or children/family life tbh. But it can be anything from a newspaper article to holidays to other people to food, religion blah blah blah.

Do you or your dp have any interests or hobbies?