Grown up with this lady, inseparable as children and honestly felt more like sisters. We’re early 30s now, I’ve 3 children and she has none. She kind of goes off the radar whenever she’s in a relationship.
DC3 was born when she got into her current relationship, I didn’t so much as receive a card in the post (she did congratulate us on FB) and she didn’t meet DC3 until around 7 months old.
This is where I’m going to sound utterly pathetic now - once my baby was born I felt like I was going through a friendship breakup it was the strangest feeling. I desperately wanted contact from her, for her to check in on us I guess, to feel like she cared? I would sit and check when she was last active on WhatsApp and it would break my heart that my messages would either not be opened or would be left read and not replied to. She will sometimes go months without responding.
A couple of years prior to DC3 being born she got a new job in a very male heavy industry. I sent a congratulations package - card, chocs and kept checking in on her during training. She ended up sleeping with the man training her who was twice her age and also married! She’s gone on to sleep with a handful more of these guys, one of which she’s happily admitted to be in regular contact with outside of work, going for food etc. In total honestly I think her ego has blown up massively.
I actually asked her to be one of DC3s godparents, I remember vividly taking photographs on the day and when it came to the godparents one I offered her my baby to hold to which she declined and laughed it off saying she’d never held a baby.
She works 5 days a week and is home by 4pm, when she does speak she often has stories from when she was at the spa etc. I can’t help but feel if she wanted to she could spare a couple of minutes to text. We live a 20 min drive apart and when I wasn’t available to meet for her to give me a birthday gift I just didn’t end up getting it (not about the present at all just an example!) yet I’ve made that drive with kids in tow to leave her birthday gift in her garden.
Fast forward to now and her sister is having her first baby this year, moved to Australia and my friend was making plans to go out and visit for 2 weeks when baby arrived. They’ve since come back and my friend text to ask what useful baby items she could buy her sister. From what she’s said she’s bought a load of unisex clothes but when I asked what sort of things she’d got she just said they were already wrapped as though she didn’t really want to tell me.
I took DC3 round to drop their Christmas gifts off and we were chatting, she was saying how great it is her sister is back with her friends so they can check in on her and make sure she’s getting out the house, meet for coffee etc. She said how she and her partner will happily babysit for a few hours so she can get some rest etc.
I know she’s her actual sister and I’m really pleased she has such great support but also equally a bit heartbroken that I was so cast aside. I would have loved nothing more than some support and I guess had she wanted to be she would have been there? Even just a text. Perhaps it’s because she is someone I’ve known all of my life pretty much I’m finding it so hard to come to terms with her not being bothered about me anymore. It’s just hurt. I don’t have a friendship group. Should I just let it fizzle out?