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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worried about divorce proceedings

3 replies

Onyx88 · 04/01/2026 20:30

Please don’t judge. I know that I made a mess of things but i am feeling so overwhelmed right now.

I broke up with my ex a few years ago but we never formally divorced. There were some reasons for this and we were both ok with it.
I changed my mind and asked for us to proceed with the official divorce proceedings and my ex agreed but he seemed a bit weird about it. I don’t really know why because this will make no difference to him what so ever.

He sent me a few messages now that make me wonder if he has been keeping tabs on my social media profiles, and it’s freaking me out a bit. I have been referring to my new partner as my financé. Until then he has been “ok” if this makes sense.
I really don’t want this to get awkward or to antagonise him, so I’m wondering there is anything I can do apart from increasing the security measures on my profiles that my ex shouldn’t even know about.
I just really want this divorce to get through and be done with it. Sorry just feeling overwhelmed with this mess.

OP posts:
PaperMachePanda · 04/01/2026 20:36

Change all your passwords for a start then remove anyone who might be passing on info and finally either change your phone or take it into a shop to see if it has any trackers on it.

helfullhand · 06/01/2026 23:49

Onyx88 · 04/01/2026 20:30

Please don’t judge. I know that I made a mess of things but i am feeling so overwhelmed right now.

I broke up with my ex a few years ago but we never formally divorced. There were some reasons for this and we were both ok with it.
I changed my mind and asked for us to proceed with the official divorce proceedings and my ex agreed but he seemed a bit weird about it. I don’t really know why because this will make no difference to him what so ever.

He sent me a few messages now that make me wonder if he has been keeping tabs on my social media profiles, and it’s freaking me out a bit. I have been referring to my new partner as my financé. Until then he has been “ok” if this makes sense.
I really don’t want this to get awkward or to antagonise him, so I’m wondering there is anything I can do apart from increasing the security measures on my profiles that my ex shouldn’t even know about.
I just really want this divorce to get through and be done with it. Sorry just feeling overwhelmed with this mess.

I have been referring to my new partner as my financé.
Is it possible that he could b using this as part of the divorce proceedings? Meaning could he us this as a cheating,etc.?

...and of course follow what @papermachepanda said too

researchers3 · 07/01/2026 00:30

helfullhand · 06/01/2026 23:49

I have been referring to my new partner as my financé.
Is it possible that he could b using this as part of the divorce proceedings? Meaning could he us this as a cheating,etc.?

...and of course follow what @papermachepanda said too

Cheating is irrelevant in UK law. Court give zero fucks.

What your ex might try to do is argue that he wants a greater financial settlement based on your new partners income.

Guessing you don't have a financial consent order in place...

Try legal queen and chat gpt as a starting point on what you need to know. With the latter give it very specific info and you'll get a very tailored response.

People on here will suggest a solicitor but they will charge you a fortune for what you can do yourself for free.

Good luck.

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