Fake (ITV)

[PassportPanicFuuuck]

I'm watching this drama on ITV and finding it quite creepy how familiar the behaviour of the main male character is. All the lies, the cancellations, the wrong-footing remind me of the various avoidant/narcissistic exes I've had.

There's just been a scene where he's meeting her after work outside her office. He says he's just outside and she's looking all over for him and can't see him anywhere. He's slightly goading her, saying things like, "Earth to Birdie! I'm right here!"

Turns out he's in a taxi, but hadn't mentioned this and she obviously assumed that he'd be on foot. Not a "red flag" on its own, but so typical of the sort of thing these men do to make you feel stupid and to throw you off balance.

I'm less than halfway through and I'm sure that we're going to see much worse and more obviously sociopathic behaviour from him, but - well, it's really hitting home how utterly toxic these men are. The more intelligent ones don't necessarily do "obvious" things like shout or swear but clearly enjoy always being in control and making other people feel uncomfortable while staying just on the side of acceptable conduct that makes you doubt yourself.

As a piece of drama it's pretty good. Would be interested to hear what other people thought of it or of the subject matter.

OMG - he was supposed to be taking her to his house as five months into the relationship she still hasn't there. The taxi pulls up outside and he points out his car, and then tells the taxi to carry on and to take them to a restaurant instead.

He really is a piece of work.

Anyone?

There's another thread on this. I don't know how to link to it, but if you search Fake Itv it should come up. I really enjoyed watching it.

OP, just wanted to say, I read your post and went to watch Fake, and omg I was glued to it, thank you for that, was a great series

Thanks, I'll do that. I'll be interested to read other people's opinions.

Glad you enjoyed it! It was gripping, wasn't it?

I really enjoyed this, saw it a few months ago and it's based on a real life memoir. I thought the actors depiction of a manipulating wrong 'un was excellent but just shows you the lengths some scammers will go to!

Haven’t seen it but thanks for the heads up! Always looking for something good to watch!

I enjoyed it but I was shocked at how many red flags she completely ignored.

My experience of being in a broadly similar situation to her (long-term single, at an age where everyone expects you to be partnered up, keen to make it work when you do finally meet someone you click with) is that it's boiling frog syndrome. Each individual red flag situation can be relatively easily explained/excused because generally you get an apology and an "explanation" and you draw a line under it and move on. It's only after a period of the same thing happening repeatedly that you realise they must be lies as no-one can possibly be so unfortunate as to have something go awry every other time they're meant to see you.

I've been in situations before where the guy has cancelled because of work, because of illness, a plumbing disaster, the car breaking down, his mother being ill, his daughter being upset, his aunt, his other daughter, his mother again, and then we move on to the family pets and the penny drops.

As I said in my OP, it was creepy how much this reminded me of certain men I've dated, and her reaction when she finally realises beyond any doubt that she's going to be at her friend's wedding alone was just a perfect depiction of what that horrible sinking feeling is like: a mixture of impotent rage, desolation, bitter disappointment and shame.