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Original poster

Marriage breakdown

30 replies

princesscallie · 04/01/2026 00:45

Is anyone awake? My husband told me he wants to separate on New Years Day. I'm really struggling to cope today. Can't stop crying and am having panic attacks. I have just left home to get out of the house. Driving around. We had problems but even though he seen me crying uncontrollably earlier there was nothing from him. We've 2 kids. They are 12 and 10 and I was sobbing so much I was afraid I'd wake them so I left. Literally feel like my heart is breaking. We've been together for 22 years tomorrow (well today now). My whole adult life. I just feel so broken. I can't keep it together for my children at the minute. I'm not able

OP posts:
Ydkiml · 06/02/2026 20:08

Pleased you have both talked and you are both trying at your marriage. Keep communicating, both yourself and as well as him . Only give as much as you are receiving. This has to be a two way effort . Just keep reminding him how much you love him and show appreciation. But more importantly, get some independence so you can imagine a life without him too . Good luck . And well done both of you .

MustWeDoThis · 06/02/2026 20:29

princesscallie · 05/02/2026 18:59

Hi ladies, I said id check back in. I needed to take some time to process some things. Its funny as id thought id be happy to separate as things were not going great. I think I surprised myself (and my husband) with how upset I was with it all.

Anyway.....so we had a talk about things and I told him he'd have to move out as I couldn't live with him. When the reality of this sunk in he did come back and rethink his decision. We ended up talking about why things had ended up so bad. He agreed to step up and help out more and has stuck to this so far. We also talked about all the time I have spent bringing the kids to activities and we made them give up the one we least enjoy. We agreed we needed to spend more time together and see how we go. We've been away for a night and have another one planned for the end of this month.

I still have doubts and find myself thinking hes staying because it's easier than leaving but we are trying. Things are going okay so far and we are getting on. I asked was there someone else and he said no and I do believe that. I think if there was he'd be more likely to go. So we shall see how things go from here. Taking it slowly.

I'm so sorry, OP. However, he backtracked when you told him he would need to leave - Doesn't that speak volumes for you? It sounds like you're both trying to ram a square peg into a round hole...it's just not going to fit. If he's staying because he'll end up homeless or living with friends/family, I think it's disgusting to use you like that. You say there is nobody else, but he could have been planning on moving another woman into your home, but your request prevented him doing that. Be careful, because he might be getting his ducks in a row.

Original poster
princesscallie · 07/02/2026 21:57

MustWeDoThis · 06/02/2026 20:29

I'm so sorry, OP. However, he backtracked when you told him he would need to leave - Doesn't that speak volumes for you? It sounds like you're both trying to ram a square peg into a round hole...it's just not going to fit. If he's staying because he'll end up homeless or living with friends/family, I think it's disgusting to use you like that. You say there is nobody else, but he could have been planning on moving another woman into your home, but your request prevented him doing that. Be careful, because he might be getting his ducks in a row.

Show quote history

Thanks for your comments but I know for sure he's not planning on moving anyone in here. Our home is more mine than his and if he leaves he'll get very little from it. And I also know he loves our children too much to do that. Im not saying hes not getting his ducks in a row but things are definitely a lot better between us than they have been in many many months. But time will tell I guess.

OP posts:
Original poster
princesscallie · 07/02/2026 22:00

Ydkiml · 06/02/2026 20:08

Pleased you have both talked and you are both trying at your marriage. Keep communicating, both yourself and as well as him . Only give as much as you are receiving. This has to be a two way effort . Just keep reminding him how much you love him and show appreciation. But more importantly, get some independence so you can imagine a life without him too . Good luck . And well done both of you .

Thank you for your message. Things are definitely better between us than they have been in a long time. The awkwardness is gone and things are more easy between us than they have been in months. We are communicating better and are both carving out time for each other and by ourselves. So we'll see. Baby steps for now anyway.

OP posts:
Ydkiml · 07/02/2026 23:03

Well done for trying and fingers crossed your marriage will grow and grow .

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