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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Treated differently

3 replies

Chassisy · 03/01/2026 22:32

I had a friend who would subtly insult me and be sarcastic and other times she could be lovely. I had to ghost and block her in the end as I had told her before about her behaviour and she promised not do it again but always did. I know to was cowardly but it was affecting my mental health and was being disrespectful. Other friends experienced the same and they had to end their friendships with her too.

A couple she knew and had fallen out with became friends with her again after lockdown but they have fallen out again. She plays the victims saying to others her ex friends were not worth bothering with even though she inflicted hate and pain on to them. Why should we keep tolerating it.

She met a woman in her job sector as they are both self employed and met as the same events. They are both in their 40s and are best friends now. What makes me sad is why does she treat this woman with respect and not put her down or insult her? Yet she was awful to myself and others. Myself and other friends were really nice people and didn’t deserve it.

OP posts:
SBGM247 · 03/01/2026 22:34

Chassisy · 03/01/2026 22:32

I had a friend who would subtly insult me and be sarcastic and other times she could be lovely. I had to ghost and block her in the end as I had told her before about her behaviour and she promised not do it again but always did. I know to was cowardly but it was affecting my mental health and was being disrespectful. Other friends experienced the same and they had to end their friendships with her too.

A couple she knew and had fallen out with became friends with her again after lockdown but they have fallen out again. She plays the victims saying to others her ex friends were not worth bothering with even though she inflicted hate and pain on to them. Why should we keep tolerating it.

She met a woman in her job sector as they are both self employed and met as the same events. They are both in their 40s and are best friends now. What makes me sad is why does she treat this woman with respect and not put her down or insult her? Yet she was awful to myself and others. Myself and other friends were really nice people and didn’t deserve it.

Move on. The life you want is waiting for you to show up. Why spend time thinking about this? You have everything you need in yourself. The beauty and magic you're wanting are hiding in the work you're avoiding. Good luck. Get after it!

FranklyAnd · 03/01/2026 22:35

You're giving this woman and her behaviour way too much headspace. I mean, you can have no idea how she does in fact behave around her new industry 'best friend' -- maybe she is intermittently unpleasant to her, too, and this woman tolerates it as you did?

You sound as if you want validation of your own experience of her by her treating everyone else the same way. Ask yourself why this is. Why isn't it enough for you to recognise that you ended the friendship for your own perfectly valid reasons?

Chassisy · 04/01/2026 11:55

I know I should just move on. Just annoys me how nasty people can be.

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