Relationship end problem

[A15R]

This is my second post,
I want my relationship to end but I have no idea how to leave him?
He brings nothing to the relationship. I do all the cleaning, all the household stuff (except the dishes), every meal, play with DC after all this, as Christmas has just passed I chose all the presents (including his DCx2 and family) i also chose my own presents to the point where i wrapped two of them myself as he couldnt do it. I feel awful as he paid for everything as I just couldn't afford it. He does contribute financially when asked everytime. My oldest DC (which isn't his dad) has said to my mother that he wants me to split from him.
He isn't even a particularly great dad to our DC. He is there but doesn't really connect with him and when he does its 10/15mins of playing then he sits on his phone or lays on the sofa. We have hardly any affection at all a couple of kisses when going to work or coming home and thats it really, intimacy wise is only if i start it or its been over a long period of time. But i feel like I can't leave him though. He has nowhere to go if we separate we have had a few blow ups and we talk about all our problems which is good after the first few weeks then it goes back to how it is now. Yes we have our good days but I feel the bad days are just too often and I find myself thinking most days how it would be if he wasn't there.
I don't really know what the point is of this post. I just feel like I need to speak to someone that isn't my family or a friend

Where he goes is not your problem.
Ive not read your other post, are you unmarried and he lives in a house in your name? If so, end it and give him a date to leave by.

If you want to split up you need to make a plan to do that. You say you can’t afford to, do you not work? You say he has nowhere to go, so is it your house?

Yes he lives with me, i do work but my wages are enough for bills and the essentials I would need to save and this past year I only had a few hundred saved

You need to do some practical planning. Do you own or rent and is that jointly or just one of you? What would your income be without him (taking into account child maintenance and any benefits you could claim)? What would the child arrangements be?

I rent, I know i would be fine financially without him it's just im paying out more on bills and food shopping as there's another 3 people

Are you the solely named renter on the tenancy agreement?.

Better to be on your own with your kids (I note your eldest is telling you to split up with this man) than to remain so badly accompanied by this male cocklodger who in all likelihood targeted you deliberately.

As the child arrangement that scares me as our DC is only little and he has no idea how to cook and doesn't change his nappy for a number 2. No matter what I am doing he shouts me and I have to go in and change his bum and continue with what I was doing at the time

Yes it's just my name, sorry i don't know how to reply directly to a message

And where he goes is not your problem. He has two children; where is their mother?.

Put you and your son first now. He's already told his nan that he wants you to split up with this bloke.

His children live with their mother, I'm very close to my eldest and have spoken to him about it saying I need a plan and a time to go forward which he understands

It really isn't your problem to worry about where he will live. If the house is yours/ leased solely to you, just tell him that he needs to leave. If you are feeling kind you can give him a week or so to find alternative accommodation.

You’ve admitted he brings absolutely nothing to your relationship and life, just get rid.

Where he goes is not your responsibility.

I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation with him about it as when we talk about things he just thinks I'm complaining, which yes I do as I get frustrated then I clam up and don't talk

Have a friend or family member present with you when you tell him it’s over. Don’t go into detailed explanations. Present it as a done deal. If he kicks off phone the police.

Tell him you’re not complaining anymore as you’ve given up hope that things will change. Tell him you want him out the house ASAP, it’s over.

just tell him it’s not a conversation, you’re ending it and he needs to leave. Don’t open it up for discussion.

This is a good idea.

Also might be worth changing the locks as I’m guessing he’ll have a key and may not be open to handing it over.

You can deal with access to the child once he’s out of your hair. He’s capable of changing a nappy, he just chooses not to because you’re on hand to do it.

Too many men get away with this behaviour by accusing women of complaining so that they’ll shut up and comply.