Should I be concerned about my partner and his work colleagues?

[Momof2x]

I (30f) have started to have insecurities regarding my 29m parthner and his females work colleagues.

I have been with my partner over 2 years. When I first meet him he worked in a decent job. However he ended up quiting his job over a year ago as he didnt get on with his manager.

He ended up getting a job in a bar, where he mostly does night shifts. We no longer spend much time together as he works nights and sleeps all day. I feel this has made us slightly distant and a lot of the time I feel lonely in the relationship.

Most of his work colleagues are younger females around 22. It is clear to see that he thinks highly of everyone he works with. He seems very involved with the job and has become friendly with all the staff.

He will sometimes hang around work on his days off to sit and drink with his work colleagues . I have questioned him about this and he doesn't see it as a big deal.

There is one particular girl I have heard him mention. He has referred her to a lovely girl. I have seen this girl on a few occasions and she is very glamorous. It does make me feel a bit insecure that he is working beside her most nights but I dont want to seem like im too bothered.

Today I was having a clear out in the house and I found a Christmas card which looked liked it had been hidden. It was from the women I mentioned and another female colleague.

The card had written "To (name of my partner) merry Christmas you filthy animal, thanks for always making us smile, rain or shine. We love you, are sweet sacrificial lamb, lots of love (two of his f work colleges)

Now im in two minds if this is totally innocent or if I am being silly to think this is disrespectful when they know he has a partner.

I confronted my partner earlier and he said they all write Christmas cards and birthday cards to everyone.

However for some reason, I feel the "we love you part",was not necessary.

Does anyone have any advice for the best way to approach this situation with my partner

Unless it’s a threesome, the ‘we’ love you wouldn’t worry me that much. The quitting his job, sitting around in a bar and sleeping most of the day at 30 on the other hand would give me the ick.

I’d rock up one day and see what your gut tells you, you’ll know

The card wouldn’t bother me at all.
The lack of effort in the relationship, the job/sitting in the bar, sleeping all day etc would be a problem

Im assuming hes not the dad of your DC? If so id be ending it, hes acting like a 20 year old uni student.

If he is the dad then I'd be talking to him about finding a proper job to support his family.

I think "merry Christmas you filthy animal" and the fact it was from two girls is the key to the card's significance. The quote is from one of most-watched Christmas movies of all time (Home Alone). My daughter wore the t-shirt at Christmas.

I think you should listen to your instincts about the general situation, but wouldn't worry about the card.

The card wouldn't worry me, especially the 'we love you'.

The overall relationship and the lack of quality time would though.

Keep him for a fun time, not a long time.

Which is exactly what these other women are doing.

. Wrong thread

I doubt whether a joint Christmas card is a problem.

All your other disatisfactions with the relationship are, and that's probably why you're looking for a "concrete" problem.

You don't need one. End it if it's not giving you what you need.

Oh he sounds pathetic the girls sound like typical 22 year olds. Who in a year or two will move on and he'll be left there until the new recruits of students come in

As said, the more major issue is that it doesn't bother him that his schedule gives him less time with you. He has a job where he could easily find another in his line of work that aligns more with your work schedule. Obviously, he's lost at least some of his interest in you, but is too cowardly to break up.

Secondly, who the heck needs a guy who chooses to spend all of his leisure time drinking. Best to find a partner with a healthy hobby.

You're lonely and not feeling like you're treated as the special partner you are, so you should think about having standards and acting on what's best for you. I'd dump the fool.

This
The problem is him, not the girls. He’s living like a young single man. I would be concerned about the lack of time together, and him opting to go to work to spend his time with them, not the card.