Hi ladies,
I need female advice and other than my own mom and friends, I have nowhere else to turn to through this.
Nine months ago, I met a man I became romantically involved with after he asked me for my number when he moved into the same village as myself. We are both 34 years old.
We actually met on a dating app, and couldn't believed we now live round the corner from eachother.
At first he was extremely keen, and invited me around his house within a month of us messaging eachother daily.
He had only come out of an 18 month relationship six weeks ago and constantly talked about his ex.
On the second date he wanted sex, which I refused as I said it was too soon and could ruin anything developing for the long term, he said it wasn't and went very moody when I wouldn't have sex, but I still stayed over the night and slept in the same bed.
He took me out on the third date, saying he really liked me, and I could potentially end up his wife, but he just wasn't ready for a relationship yet as he still just wasn't over his ex and needed time before he could give his next partner 100% of him.
I foolishly agreed to wait for him as I liked him so much.
For the next few months we spoke all the while, and he continued saying he was in such a bad place, was not himself, and could not commit fully to a relationship, not with me or anyone else.
After a drunken night in September, we slept together after heading back to his house.
The worse thing ever, was after a good ten minutes of him really being into it, saying how much he had always wanted sex with me, he suddenly said he couldn't come and he didn't know what was a matter with him and it abruptly stopped, saying let's just go to sleep.
I was mortified.
In the morning he was nice to me, but the following week we met up around his house again, he would not touch or kiss me like he use too, and he told me he just wasn't himself as he still has feelings for his ex.
That he wasn't ready for relationship or to commit to anyone at all anytime soon.
I continued to be his friend, and we messaged twice a week checking in on eachother.
And then three weeks ago, after not seeing eachother for three months but talking twice a week, he messaged me saying that he could no longer contact me, that he was being truthful to himself as he had always been, that he had met someone and found a spark, it was totally unexpected and out the blue for him and being loyal and not wanting to jeopardize it, he could no longer talk to me anymore.
I messaged back asking how long and he said he had only been seeing her for five weeks.
Only a month before he told me he couldn't commit to anyone.
I am just devastated, I have fallen in love with him.
My mom and half of my friends believe it's a lie and he has reached out to his ex and has gone back to her, while my other friends believe he may be telling the truth as he says because wouldn't he just tell me it was his ex.
The five weeks he claims he has been seeing this "new person" does add up to a night out he went on with a group of his school friends, all of them married with kids expect him.
He rang me up and told me about the night a week before it, saying how much he didn't want to go as they were all married with children but him, but he stated on the phone not to worry, as I can trust him. He promised me that I could trust him.
He even sent me a selfie of his outfit before he headed out to it and I told him to have a good night.
What makes it worse is that while he was " special friends" with me, he was still logging into the dating app as I use to check, and it always use to say last logged in, in the last 24 hours that did concern me.
He has now disappeared from the app completely, since saying he has met someone else.
Proving to me he has come off it for whoever she is.
Please, I need clarity as I'm struggling with it all.
Do you think he has lied and returned back to his ex, or he has met someone so amazing that he has commited to her within weeks when he never got over his ex in a whole nine months time range of seeing me.
Thank you xx