About seven or eight years ago before I met my current partner I had an intense online relationship with a man I later met in person. He said he loved me, wanted me to visit him in Manchester, and talked a lot about his work and life. At one point he said I should know he was serious because he was introducing me to his little sister. I knew a lot about his life, including where he worked and his usual route home. He was still living with his mother and sister and no one else said anything, so everything felt consistent.
There were a couple of moments that did not register as red flags at the time. A call came through with a heart next to the name which he said was his boss because he was very close to them. He also asked if I thought he was cheating, which never crossed my mind. I accepted his explanations and did not dwell on it.
The last contact I had from him was a message saying he felt suicidal and hated himself, after which he cut me off. Weeks later I found out he was working on his mental health and did not want a relationship.
Fast forward to now. Out of curiosity I searched for him and found his Facebook. He has been in a relationship for 12 years with a woman in America, they are engaged, and he posts constantly about how much he loves her. He has written that he has always loved her, which makes some of the posts feel a bit like a performance. I let my finger drag quickly through a few of them and it added to my confusion. I do not understand how he met her, how he has maintained a relationship in America for so long, or how this fits with the age he told me years ago, which makes me question other things about his timeline. His latest post was about promising to see her again and how much he loves her, but from experience I have learned that gushy social media posts often mean something is off. I also wonder why he posts publicly rather than messaging her privately.
I am not upset or angry, my reaction is more oh that explains it. I have no intention of contacting him and I am happily partnered now. Looking back I did not have good examples of stable relationships at the time, which influenced what I accepted and hoped for. I have learned a lot since then and approach relationships very differently now.
I know it is not really my business and maybe not the best way to start the new year. I have blocked his account and do not plan to look again, but I am curious and maybe I should not be.
Thoughts welcome.