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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tired and fed up of men in general

3 replies

Inamess2022 · 30/12/2025 20:14

Don’t really know what the point in this thread is just wanted to write my thoughts and feelings down away from friends and family who are probably very bored of my woes by now…four months ago I came out of a nearly ten year on and off toxic relationship.. lots of issues, verbal and some physical abuse. We were in a very bad cycle of nice/nasty and I just couldn’t do it anymore. He subsequently made my life hell which resulted in me having to get the police involved. Things are calmer now and I’ve actually had a nice Christmas with family, my lovely son and friends. Just to add my son is my ex husbands child so thankfully no contact with my ex is strictly no contact. Last night I don’t know why I did it but I checked his Facebook and saw that he’d been loving a woman’s posts who I’ve always had suspicions and issues with and sending her lots of hugs memes etc etc. I’ll just add this is supposed to be a “mature” man who is also quite a bit older than me. I feel crap today again. I feel that I was used by him, that all men will turn out to be the same, that I feel at 45 too old for all the dating stuff and all the crap that comes with if..that i can’t bear to be hurt again. So many things in my life have improved since leaving my ex, im more focused at work, my relationship with my son is so close, ive been socialising with some wonderful female friends again. I just can’t shake this feeling that i will be single forever, and that i will just meet a succession of arseholes. Advice very much appreciated and sorry for banging on!!

OP posts:
PixieDust91 · 30/12/2025 20:23

Not sure why a 45 year old woman with kids is still stalking her "toxic" ex on Facebook. So you're only "no contact" when you want to be? Interesting.

TheThingOnTheIce · 30/12/2025 20:26

No advice just solidarity
42 , ended a relationship in October . Lovely bloke on the surface but definitely something really off going on behind my back . Kicking myself for not ending it at the first big red flag less than 2 months in instead of dragging it out for over 2 years.
alcoholic exh is causing shit again too
i absolutely can not face dating again but I’m not happy alone either .

Inamess2022 · 30/12/2025 22:27

Thanks for the supportive message. Not sure where the person who said I was “stalking” my ex missed the parts where he was physically and emotionally abusive but there we go. I’m not sure one solitary glance at someone’s page after a nasty and messy break up constitutes stalking but we all have differing opinions!

OP posts:
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