Is this normal?

[ThatMauveBear]

So me and DH have been together for 10 years. We met when I was 20 and he was 25. We have a nice home, lovely DD, good careers, and get on well except for some arguments here and there - nothing major. I usually ignore any attention I get from other men but lately I've just been feeling a little flattered by such instances and even thinking about all sorts of what ifs. I'm usually quite pragmatic and good at getting over myself but it's been going on for some months now and I just can't help but wonder if this is just a normal stage in our marriage, are we growing apart, or am I just bored/going mad? Any views are much appreciated.

Didn't they used to call this the Seven Year Itch?

I think it's a sign that things are going a bit stale in your marriage. It's easy to get complacent, life is busy and we all get caught up in work and kids and stuff! Maybe talk to your DH about finding some time for just the two of you? You can do date nights at home, nice dinner and cuddle up to watch a movie, couple of glasses of wine? Or get some nice massage oils and have a massage night with low lights and mood music? Or if you can organise babysitting, have a night out doing something you haven't done before - escape room, indoor climbing lesson, comedy club, ice skating... the possibilities are endless and it's an opportunity to have a laugh and get close again.

DH probably isn't satisfying you in bed and making you feel desired and cherished that now you seek and enjoy validation from strangers.

I had marriage counselling a while back.
There was one thing that stuck. Being in a marriage is like being together inside an elastic band. You will naturally move appart but the band will retract and keep you together and this will happen over and over again. But the band is only as strong as your bond and will break if stretched too far.
Thats the trick. Don't let the pull of those outside the band stretch you too far.
When that snaps the band it will not be pretty. And it will not be fixed.

need to do a bit of soul searching here. We live in the 21st century now and if you dont want to stay together, you dont have to, but just make sure its definitely what you want either way.

What sort of advice is this?

They have a child together. A bit of boredom is not a reason to split up.

Men sniffing around a married woman are fucking arseholes anyway.

Child or not if your heart is not in it anymore, move on

Thought we managed to escape this.

Thank you all, really good tips and points. I don't think I would consider divorce over something like this but am a bit concerned about the persistance of this. I suppose I am also struggling with it because I can't exactly talk to him about it without it becoming a thing...hopefully time will tell.

I think passing attraction to others is normal when you’re in a long-term relationship. After all, the vow to forsake all others would hardly be necessary if everyone else simply ceased to be attractive. The whole point of commitment is not letting a passing attraction to someone else come between you and your life partner.

DH and I have been together over 25 years. There are times when we find each other extremely irritating and we have some lively exchanges of views. But i am certain that would be the case, whoever i was married to. On the other hand, i love the fact that - 25+ years in - DH and i still have loads to talk about, make each other laugh and have a decent sex life as well. I’m not at all sure i would have that with another man.