New year resolutions

[Mumto21234]

For those of us who's marriage/relationships have ended, especially if through betrayal of affair, anyone have any good news years resolutions/plans to build themselves back up and move forward into the next chapter in life?

Not expecting to wake up feeling completely different on the first but hoping I can view it as a new chapter for me and my kids, and have a handle on the overthinking and replaying of previous/made up scenarios!

I'm six months post discard and happily-ever-after-with-the-side-chick so I've done my work. My resolution is to continue.

I can definitely say what's been helpful to me

eight sessions of counselling via betterhelp. The counselling didn't focus on the breakup but more on unhelpful patterns I've identified since and we made a lot of progress unravelling meanings I assign to live, safety, home, which beliefs I internalised and how they dictated my life, what to let go of etc. Was really helpful.

Dad Hugs For Your Soul anxious attachment pack. I am not typically anxiously attached but my previous relationship activated some anxiety patterns. The tools in the pack were extremely helpful.

Peter Crone Freedom membership. Revolutionary!

So I am definitely aiming to go through membership content daily in the new year because it has massively improved my mindset.

Aside from that, I also plan to continue exploring new activities and make more meaningful connections with people around me.

We're just coming out of the year of the snake and as you know snakes shed skin, this is a metaphor for shedding everything from the past. We are entering the year of the horse and it is time for renewed energy and rebuilding. We are also coming to the end of a nine year cycle and year one starts again on 16th February.

My suggestion is the quality of people in your life as opposed to the quantity. If they compliment your life then keep, if they complicate your life then remove.
Also work on being comfortable with solitude

Six months post breakup and my NYR is to have a him-free 2026.

He has lurked and begged and mantrummed. No more!

Also I'm going to start 2026 with a champagne breakfast with my offspring 😁

I like the idea of a snake shedding their skin.

I really want to stop replaying past good times, and imagining him with his new gf, the affair partner. Its bloody hard though and something I'm sure will take a lot of practice. I really hope, as much as possible, to embrace the new year as a new chapter and feel some excitement or hope for the future and not just dread and fear.

@Mumto21234 you need a list of all the negatives of being together with him.
The OW will be dealing with those plus worrying that she has created a vacancy.