Am I being stupid/overthinking 2

[annon135]

thank you to mumsnet for deleting previous thread. I was worried My husband saw the thread on google and I dont want him to have knowledge of any of this, mainly because I dont want him to use any of this to his advantage.

ive had to come to work and im thinking of a plan.

I dont believe him
I wont get the truth
cried my eyes our driving to work I look horrendous

But I left from work saying, you ring your friend and get proof that Either He has the banking information via text that is the same for this drug dealer and transaction Or get me the drug dealers information, and he said at first how am I going to get a drug dealers information - and i said well your friend is clearly very close with him as he has his account number and sort code so should be very easy! Hes very scared. Why would you be scared if youve not done anything wrong?

told him about organised crime and sex trafficing picture (thank you so much to whoever found this)

thanks for everyones support before i reported the post I screen shot all your messages x

@NewLemonHare “he got off on entering the ‘postcode’” well I’ve not heard it called that before, but I suppose with how many men they have had inside them they possibly do have their own postcode 😅

@annon135 So sorry this is happening to you. I agree with others this is more than a lap dance. I have no idea of costs but that seems steep even for a private dance.
You deserve so much better than this, and in time you’ll meet someone more mature and respectful 💐

I dont believe the strip club excuse. That wouldnt be a bank transfer to an individual. Hes still lying. The woman has form for trafficking vulnerable women yo the UK. Hes most likely paid for one of these women, held against their will to have sex with. Disgusting. Do you have girls op? Imagine if this was one of them. Find your anger here

Sorry, I wasnt passing it off, it was more that some people might be ok with just a strip club visit (i wouldn't be) but an actual "massage" place even worse.
I really feel for you, I just wanted to say, I had to start again nearly 5 years ago, with my children, my whole world was turned on its head....it was bloody tough but were all ok now

I've thought of a few ways you can try to gain proof it was a brothel (not a strip club). This may or may not work but my idea is:

1. Ask him "So where is this strip club then? Take me there. You know I'm a modern 21st century woman. I'm curious. I'd like to have a quick 5 minute lap dance myself just to see what it's all about"

2. When you arrive at the establishment ask if they take payments by card and bank transfer. Ask "Is the payee name ........?"

3. There will be strip clubs in Liverpool. If he wanted to attempt to prove his story he could take you to a random club ..... but the bank payee name is never going to be the same.

Basically you force him to prove this new latest version of events (the strip club) - the same as you originally asked him to try and prove the bank payment was to pay a drug dealer.

However, if you have by now already made it clear to him the marriage is over, he might be very reluctant to answer any more questions / provide any further proof. He might go all "reverse blaming you" - don't be so ridiculous, I've told you I went to a strip club, you've told me the marriage is over - what more do you want?

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Best case scenario - when you ask him for more details / proof as to exactly which strip club it was, he folds and admits "Well okay okay I paid "Madame Boo Boo Two Fannies Brothel" for sex"

5. You can try - try to force him to elicit more and more details about exactly where the strip club was, name of it etc ..... or

6. There is his male chum who was with him part of the evening. You could try asking the chum, "Hey, Gary which strip club was it you went to with Hubby on Boxing Day?"

Gary and Hubby will probably come up with two different names of two different strip clubs.

I agree with you 💯 percent - he doesn't get to walk away from this marriage and tell his friends and family the story that "I only had one lap dance" and you decided to divorce him because of one itty bitty little lap dance.

Hope you are doing ok, OP.
Personally, I wouldn’t tie yourself up in knots to get cast iron proof - you already know the truth.
i would be looking him in the eye and saying:

• i know you are still lying to me.
• You lied to me about the drugs.
• You are still lying to me now.
• A lap dance in a club would not lead to a 3am bank transfer to an individual.
• do not take me for a fool as I am not
• its over

that is a position of absolute strength to take, even though it will be hard. Thinking of you.

Wanted to check in and see if you were doing ok OP ♥️

I hope your ok x