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[Hayles2]

I have 2 friends and they sent me Christmas cards. I got them a card too. I wished them a Merry Christmas by text on Christmas Day and got nothing back. They both read the message. I know people are busy but have people become that lazy since covid? I won’t be sending Happy New Year texts as it is demoralising people don’t give two hoots.

It is annoying as it doesn’t take long to reply. It shows where you are in terms of their priorities. I did a bit of an experiment this year. I always text friends Happy Christmas on Christmas Day and thank you’s for any presents. Usually I have responses (not always on the day) and reciprocal thank you’s for presents. This year, I thought I will not do this and see who texts me first. Well the answer was no one. It’s useful information as I realise I give a lot more energy to these friendships than I should. Time to rethink my own priorities.

I’m on several WhatsApp groups with family, friends and colleagues and I find the constant ping of messages on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day/New Year and dare I say it birthdays, stressful and intrusive. So much so that I now mute until I’m ready and able to respond in bulk. In my case, it was this morning (Sunday) as I’ve been in bed unwell since Christmas Day.
I’m sorry if anyone would consider prioritising family time or health rude or lazy, but true friends would surely understand.

Sorry you're unwell - me too. 😒

Your circumstances are totally understandable but I know these people wont even reply at all. This happened last year with both of them so I know not to bother again as it’s not important to them.

That must be very hurtful and I hope you have a wider friendship group that you can count on. I guess what I’m trying to say is, not everyone views prompt response times to (albeit very kind) messages with same urgency.
Is it possible they consider the exchange of cards enough and the additional messaging OTT?

I’ll be honest I’d see the cards as enough and think also sending happy Christmas messages on top is a bit much.

You say same thing happened last year so why set yourself up to be hurt again?

I think real life matters more than digital life. They sent you a card and the idea that not replying to you on Christmas Day is 'lazy' is a joke. Once upon a time no one had mobile phones and it was the norm not to communicate with people and just let them get on with their Christmas. I'm glad I don't judge my friendships by who texts me and when.

If you choose to message them, that's your choice. They are under no obligation to reply straight away - especially to a standard Christmas greeting when they already sent you that by post!
I quite often opt out of social media, esp when I'm busy with actual life, and postpone replying, quite probably I forget entirely at times to get back to standard greetings. I feel it's my prerogative not to have to jump when someone pings.

I think it’s not as important to speak to people on the actual day anymore. The card counts as having said Merry Christmas already, and asking about someone’s Christmas on Boxing Day is still being in touch during the festive period. I’m usually very communicative but I replied to a few Christmas Day messages on Boxing Day this year as it’s nice to be in the moment for the day. No reply at all is a bit rude though