The noise when he finishes!!

[Tipsyncforthis]

I have had a glorious two days of basically non-stop shagging with my new man. He seems like a really nice guy and it's been great apart from one thing.

At the end, as he gets to his...moment, he emits a noise that can only be described as being a cross between a braying horse and someone about to do a massive sneeze! The first time I thought he was taking the piss and I genuinely laughed. But then it has happened every time since! It is ick-inducing to the point where last time I actually kissed him at that moment just to try and stop it!

Can I even mention it?? Does he even realise? I have encountered grunts, 'yeah, yeah, yeeeeeeah's, 'I'm gonna come's, swearing and oh God and even total silence. But never this. This cannot surely be my sexual future??

What's the point of mentioning it? Do you really want him to be self-conscious about it?
Frankly, I have no bloody clue what sort of noises I make when I orgasm. My sexual partner can deal with them or go back where he came from because I am not editing myself for anyone.
Similarly, you decide whether this is something you can look past.

Well, it obviously didn't put you off that much if you kept on doing it.
This is very much a you problem.
The people who can't get over the ick are destined to be alone. We all have little habits that could put people off if they're really particular about things but no one is perfect.
So you can either deal with it or die on your own and your cats / dog/ hamster etc.will eat you out of boredom/ desperation/ hunger etc.

Oh, no, no, no. My vag would clamp shut with a tidal wave of ick!

I totally agree with this, I find ick culture to be really cruel and judgey a lot of the time, and can't help thinking people with all these long lists of icks are setting themselves up to never be happy in a actual relationship as they just expect perfection, which obviously nobody is