I’ve always been a happy person. Me and my husband have been married for 10 years and it’s been amazing. We’ve done a lot together but we’ve always enjoyed each others company.
Back in October, he snapped at me out of the blue and then told me he thought we spent too much time together as we also work together. Said he felt suffocated so we had to make some tweaks. I thought nothing of this and agreed.
A few days later, I overheard him talking to his friend saying ‘I don’t want to delay things’. Didn’t overthink it at the time but wondered what he meant. I’ve asked him but he said he can’t remember.
Just over a week later, I got him one night quickly flicking off something on his phone. I asked him 4 times what he was doing and he said ‘nothing’. He then said he was looking at porn but it was all blurred as he hadn’t subscribed. Also told me it was for my benefit.
I got upset because he lied to me and swore on his mums life he wasn’t doing anything before telling me.
As the weeks went on, he became different, distant and was always messaging on his phone. I’d walk in the room and he’d quickly swipe off. I queried it but apparently it was all in my mind.
He then told me he was going to sleep in the spare room. I walked in one evening and he was hiding his phone under the quilt. I questioned him and he got defensive and then said he was messaging someone but not what I think. Said he was on Omegle talking to a stranger about feeling low. From what others have said, Omegle is a sex chat site. But as the weeks have gone on, I think he told me he was on Omegle to cover up he was messaging someone.
I became a total anxious mess to the point where I am now anxious about a lot in life. I’ve thought people are conspiring against me, I thought my phone had been bugged, I can’t trust anyone. My husband has basically called me crazy.
Back In November my husband said either I move out temporarily or he does as said he needs space. I moved out as I needed support from other people. I’ve had very low days where I feel I haven’t got a purpose.
my husband has been cold and bitter throughout all of this. He was once the kindest man with the biggest heart.
We’ve spent Christmas together at home but in separate rooms. I’m doing everything on his terms. He’s still always on his phone. I’ve been extremely depressed. Christmas Day I didn’t want to be here. I have a lot of days like that.
My husband is still denying there is someone else but there are so many suspicious things he’s been doing.
He then told me last night he was going away for over a week on his own. This has totally broken me. Has anyone had any experience like this?
I’ve been wanting to sort things but my husband has become this nasty person who I don’t recognise.
He keeps doing things to deliberately trigger my anxiety. Told me he spent £8500 on a Rolex. Then when I innocently asked ‘seriously?’, he snapped and said he can spend his money on what he wants. Then laughed and said ‘only joking, it’s a replica and cost £400’. I’ve spoken to our friends about it and he told them he paid £8500. I questioned him last night and he basically said he wanted to look flash and for them to be impressed. He’s never been like this.
Why’s he turned like this? I want me kind, funny, gentle husband back 😢
Meanwhile, I’m becoming withdrawn from life and feeling incredibly lonely. Any advice welcome