IRL dating events

[mnmnddddd]

I heard brief discussion on the radio about a shift from dating apps to IRL dating events. Well sign me up!!!!
Unfortunately, so far, my web searching has mainly brought up limitted info on London, Birmingham or Manchester, and middle aged seems to be limitted to 30-45 yr olds (long gone for me!)
Anyone got some insights on this, or was it just a slow news day and a badly researched report?

I agree! Hate OLD with a passion although handy to get a potted history of people before you meet as a time saving/reassurance measure. Combination of the two would be best.

Maybe it depends what you are looking for but there are some IRL dating events where we are! Some of the local bars have them, there is a local running group that does a singles event with coffee afterwards, all advertised on facebook so worth a look on local fb pages maybe?

@Jellybunny56 Facebook? Use a social media platform to find out about meeting people in real life as an alternative to online dating apps? 🤣😭

Try speed dating search

Just socialize more generally -with interests/hobbies/meet-ups etc. Not specifically to meet men, but widen social circle to getto know more people and you will find better type of man in the wild who would never dream of going on OLD.

@UpDownAllAround1 I've tried speed dating a couple of times. Whilst I like the ice-breaking paradigm, my gut says events where you have more than 7min to talk to someone are a better recipie.

@LupaMoonhowl I'm not convinced the men who would countenance going on OLD are any worse than the women. We're all in a similar boat, or we wouldn't be there.
I know what you mean about social circles though. I've recently realised I have more of a social asterisk than a circle, and struggle to think of interests/hobbies/meet-ups that I'd care about enough to invest in even medium term. Which is why I'm curious about event/experience/activity based singles events.

A lot of places do events for 40-55, 50-65 etc.

Also with speed dating, the key is to do the speed dating which is for the introductions and then stay afterwards for the socialising.

I’m near London and there are absolutely tonnes - you could practically do one every day however they do tend to cater more for younger ages (though not exclusively) and are obvs London based. I found out about them all on Instagram.

Where are you based OP? Maybe we can help to find something?

I’m going to be horribly blunt here OP - but if you struggle to care about interests or hobbies enough to get involved in any, aren’t you potentially going to be quite boring to date?

What do you say when they ask what your interested in and how you fill your spare time?

I ask because I know a lot of men say this is a bit of a turn-off for them - that women they go on dates with don’t seem to have much going on in terms of interests or passions.

At the end of the speed dating nights I went to, everyone disappeared pretty quickly. Maybe I just went to the wrong events.

Blunt is fine. 🤣
I don't mean I struggle to care about interests or hobbies, but that I'd struggle to care about new ones if I was primarily doing them to meet people rather than for the activity's own sake. I have interests and hobbies (some social, some more individual) and don't struggle to have a conversation with new people. It's the meeting new people that's a hurdle. OLD kind of worked for a while, but I've come to loathe the process, especially the need to appear to be better than we really are and impress someone with the first photo or sentence. The shortcut to meeting people works for me - the shortcut to getting to know them (even 7 high-stakes minutes of speed dating) does not. So the idea of IRL events has more appeal.

The events are promoted/advertised on Facebook usually :)

That is where it can be hit and miss. Speed dating events in pub/bar are likely to see people hang around. It will also depend on what day it is (whether work the next morning etc).

Everything is a numbers game, some events will be be sociable than others.

I think it’s really unlikely you’d meet a decent man on speed dating. The ones I know get snapped up before they get to the OLD/dating scene. Men who want a relationship and are good at relationships just aren’t single long enough -they need to be caught in the wild.

This is such nonsense. Decent Men™ will be at these events and online. So apparently women on the dating scene are decent but all the men aren't?

I think it's these comments that are made to set everyone up for disappointment. Meeting a man "in the wild" he is more likely to be a player, and not a Decent Man™.

I see it constantly that apparently all the Decent Men™ are snapped up immediately, apparently they don't last 10mins on the dating apps. And the way the apps work is to make sure that you don't meet anyone.

Deny it all you like but the evidence is out there - and wishing it were different does not make it so 😂.

Are you suggesting it's just decent men that don't use OLD, or all decent people? And would that include me?

Apparently all the women on OLD are Decent Women™, but all the men are NOT Decent Men™.🙃But the dating apps are geared so that the players are more successful.

I've said it so many times you are looking at dating a person, not a profile. And stuff like the inevitably mentioned Burned Haystack method will focus on the profile.

Recently I saw on TV a news article, it was these dating events put together by a company where they did things like crafting etc, and other activities, can't recall specifically what, to bring old style dating back rather than online.

Although I thought that would be interesting, I did notice in the report that nearly all the attendees were female. In a couple of shots there was an odd male or two, but overwhelmingly female. I thought what a waste, if you're paying for a dating activity and there's hardly any eligible men attending!

If you remember what the company was, if nothing else, it would be good to know which aren't well balanced.

Actually some of the events I've recently attended they are checking everyone's sex, because all the female tickets sell out and women are buying all the men's tickets, leading to a gender imbalance.

You may then think that the men get all the attention from multiple women when in fact the women just chat in between themselves and the men have to chat to the few other men.

You see a lot of complaints from men on TrustPilot about this.

@mnmnddddd I've tried Googling, but I can't find the company. I also wasn't actively "watching" the TV when the article came on, but as I'm alone and thought that looks like an idea, as I won't do OLD, it piqued my interest.

That's good if they're checking tickets @NowStartingOver Although I did like the idea of all these social events on watching the report, the imbalance seemed a very obvious flaw, just by the clips shown.

I can't recall (and I'm unsure if it was even mentioned) the cost of these events, but if you're paying quite a bit to meet potential dates, it does seem to defy the purpose if it ends up being a overwhelmingly single gender event! Yes you would ideally want a choice of men, rather than one or two who are at that specific event.

On watching this news article you could be forgiven for thinking that it was a social group/ meet up style thing that they were attending, rather than events to meet potential hetrosexual dates.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c2k4lqdpny8o

The events can be expensive and some people disagree with me at them, but I believe it does filter out a lot of people (like the Not Decent Men), and should make people more intentional.

If women are buying the men's tickets, I can't help thinking that's both disappointing and self defeating (if they are actually looking for straight dates).
One speed dating site I saw lists how many male/female tickets have sold, but I guess that doesn't account for people who can't do the maths.

Sauna dating?😱 That might work for the young and beautiful, but I'm really not sure I want to lead with my wobbly bits.