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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Negative partner - getting me down

3 replies

PerfectPerfect · 28/12/2025 04:21

My partner has, in his mind, had a terrible year. I would agree with him, however, he's also had a great year too. I just don't think he can recognise that element at the moment.

He's become very negative and bitter about something which is now resolved. I have been supportive over the last 18 months listening to this issue and offering advice (when able) and emotional support. We're finally at the end and he is happy with the end result. He isn't happy about how long the issue took to resolve and it has clearly had a negative impact on him. I wish he could leave it in the past now and accept it is over but he can't.

I don't quite know how to raise this with him but he needs to talk to someone professional about it. It's now affecting my own wellbeing and I feel tense and stressed when it is raised. I also want to move on from it myself. I don't want to lose hours to this any more. I want us to enjoy our lives. I worry though I sound incredibly self centered and selfish.

OP posts:
HitchinNudists · 28/12/2025 05:05

When you part of a couple, it can be draining dealing with a negative mindset. I'm sure whatever the issue is its had a significant impact but its resolved, which must be a relief also. Its important to push on and be thankful for the good things too.

My partner is a little like this. She becomes very highly-strung when difficult issues arise and that becomes something which has to be managed also.

Ophir · 28/12/2025 05:30

This is so wearing. I’d be sorely tempted to bin them off and not get dragged down

HitchinNudists · 28/12/2025 05:42

I think if it has got to a point where counselling is an option; they'd probably have to come to that decision themselves. Is he aware of the impact on you?

If he's receptive, it might be good to suggest doing something nice together. Try and break the cycle.

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