Feeling used for sex by husband

[Qexused]

Married for 7 years. We sleep in different rooms since second child was born. He sleeps alone in master bedroom. I sleep with the baby who wakes up 4-6 times every night. Toddler sleeps in the room opposite to me and wakes up usually just once. I do all night wakings for both kids.

Husband calls me into the main bedroom or is extra nice to me or cuddly only to have aex with me. After sex, I'm expected to do all night wakings as per usual so end up going back to sleep in the single room with the baby.

I went up to the master bedroom early last night and told him he was doing night wakings since he isn't working. Had my first night of uninterrupted sleep in about a year. He woke up in a strop though. I don't think this is normal? I enjoy being intimate with him but I feel cheap/used most times after we have sex.

Yeah it sounds like it. It also sounds ridiculous to me that you sleep in separate rooms. Take turns getting up with the baby. From your own room. It won't hurt to let your baby cry it out once in a while also. Just my opinion. Well done for taking a night to yourself though.

He's a bit of a pig.

You need to share night duties for a start, why is he only doing it on a rare occasion?

Maybe explain that if things were more even you'd have sex more as you wouldn't be so damn tired. You might even find him more attractive if he wasn't so lazy.

Jeez why is he in a strop about caring for his own children??? Tell him how unattractive that is!! Maybe he’d get more sex if you had more energy and felt cherished and cared for!!!
You deserve respect and appreciation for everything you do re the children!!

You are being used. He must laugh his socks off to his mates at work - sex on demand, whole bed to himself and no responsibility to parent his own children. Ugh. How can you even be with such a selfish prick?

he isn't working.

Really?

Tell us, what's that really about?

Get away from him in any way you can.

Agree with this. He is totally taking the piss and disrespecting you.
No sex until he does his fair share of night waking ( but he might not be in the mood for sex himself then! )
Move back to the master bedroom as well. How dare he treat it as his man den !

This isn’t right OP. Are you working? I’m guessing not (fine in my book) and are doing the night wakings to let me sleep because work etc..
It’s not one bit nice to think he will only parent and then grumble just for sex. Thats horrible (and I know very well how this routine works btw). It doesn’t get better unless you literally stop letting him be as if he wasn’t also a parent

Is he not working full stop? Or off for Christmas? Either way - he needs to be sharing some of the night wakings.

I'm on mat leave, so generally cover the night shift during the week - my DH gets up at 5 or 6am and takes the baby until he starts work at 9, so I get a stretch of uninterrupted sleep. We then alternate on weekends & when he's on holiday. Demand better!