Hello all, hope you had a good Christmas. Looking for some advice here or reassurance to help with my broken heart I guess.
I am M30, split with my partner of 13 years 6 months ago, have 2 children together and a home. Home got valued a few months ago, looking to sell in the new year etc etc...
My ex has started speaking to other people as had I. I met a girl who seemed amazing to begin with, she was kind, nice, would do random stuff like buy me things despite me telling her not to etc etc... after a month of speaking I started seeing a different side to her, she would argue with me over nothing, and I mean nothing. Would call me names, block me, unblock me, lie about random things etc... it made me a little uneasy and my response to arguments is to ignore and try talking it out later. When I would tell her 'look i dont want to argue with you, ill talk later when you've calmed down' she would pepper me with abusive messages calling me a narcissist and all sorts tbh... in November my previous family setup had tickets to a pre-paid bonfire display. I told the new girl im speaking with that i was going and my brother is there and my kids etc but also my ex but rest assured I am there for the kids and it was already booked, she didnt seem bothered by it. Anyway after I had been, the next petty argument she used that against me heavily. Saying stuff like 'I was having a play date and playing happy families why she wouldnt dream of being in the same room as her ex'. I felt awful by this and reassured her whilst we were still fresh out of relationships and christmas was fast approaching that it was understandable that we would at some points be in the vicinity if our exes for the sake of our kids and that was fine with me and it should be with her as we need to trust eachother. Anyway, she didnt see it from my point of view so I crumbled to her abuse and committed I wouldnt do anything going forward then that invovled my ex, including christmas. We argued a lot since then, most of the time when I didnt want to or didnt understand why she would be so angry with me for stupid things like not replying to a text within ten mins. Anyway, fast forward to christmas I bought her and her son some gifts (she didnt for me but I dont really care for gifts). Anyway I turned up at hers to drop them off and recognised the car of her ex outside. Just to make sure I peeked through the window before knocking on just incase. I saw her, her ex and Son cuddled up essentially on the sofa watching a christmas movie. I was pretty angry with this. I would have not give a damn if her ex came to see their son on christmas eve etc but cuddled on the sofa watching a family film after making me feel like nothing for going to a bonfire event that was prebooked, I was not happy. I text her and said, 'just popped to drop some stuff off but looks like its best i come back at a different time'. She acted like she didnt know what i was talking about so I told her what i saw, she gaslit me. Blew me up. Told me im losing my mind, would say 'GOD FORBID MY SON WANTED TO SEE HIS DAD AT CHRISTMAS'. I explained it was nothing to do with that at all it was the cuddled on the sofa watching a movie that did it for me. I explained how she made me feel about that bonfire event and how I apologised, understood and committed to not being in a situation like that again. Whilst she was gaslighting me I simply said 'I dont want to argue, when you understand it from my point of view and want to talk about it like I have for you, then I will entertain this conversation but im no longer being made to feel like the way you make me feel'. Anyway, I stuck to my end of the bargain, didnt see my ex over christmas, only the kids for a little while, and spent it alone. She didn't text me once. Today she has posted a story on Instagram essentially of her steering wheel on the way to a lake retreat with the caption 'calm after the storm'. She still hasnt spoken to me. My mind is going crazy. A lot of me knows to simply let her go and forget about her. But I did start to love her and that hurts. She would tell me she would never recover if we stopped progressing things, she loves me more than she has loved any previous partner, and would put her reaction to things down to being an 'emotional and caring person'. Maybe im being cynical but if I had a crystal ball, I would guarantee she is on the way to the lake retreat with either her ex or another guy. Whilst i have been sat here, true to my word, miserable, doing nothing.
Guys (or ladies) what should I do?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.