How do you manage someone like this?

[Docugirl]

A person who ignored their partner's bereavements but who is now demanding comfort and consideration for their own?

I mean really furious that they're not being hugged more. Like jumping up and down in a rage.

How do you explain that the their own behaviour has consequences? Or do you just let them rant and rage and demand you explain why you're not being kinder and wait for it to pass?

Personally - grey rock & NC. Life is too fucking short.

If that person was my partner, I probably would have left if they were unkind and unsupportive while I was bereaved. You need to ask yourself why you're still with a person who behaves this way? Surely the whole point of a relationship is that you hold each other up in difficult times and have each other's back. If that's not the case then it's a bad relationship and you should end it.

@Endofyear Thanks. I wish it was easy for me to do that. Neither of us have anywhere else to go.

Grey rock is the best option for now.

It's never easy but start making a plan now - it will be worth it.

Say “you were no source of comfort to me, why should I be one to you” then grey rock. Don’t back down.

Literally hopping up and down in a tantrum is BPD. Grey rock and plan your escape asap.

@Spudthespanner Honestly I don't want to admit that.

It will be thrown in my face at the earliest opportunity.

I'm trying not to provoke more lecturing and ranting. I suppose the neediness has surprised me when I had been very clear how much I was let down.

Can you respond with you thought he wouldn’t want comfort as he offered you none and he’d want to be treated the same. You’ve not had this before so were just mirroring his reaction to handling a bereaved person