Whats a toxic relationship look like

[BeHappySquid]

Ive been married for 15 years and with my partner for nearly 20. We are both mature. Throughout our time together ive always felt second best. There are so many examples I could fill a dozen blogs. But here are a few that I hope show a trend. If something happens ( however small) that upsets her, she will suddenly mention is months or even year later as something that has scared her forever. If it happened on holiday it ruined the whole holiday.
She will often use friends to reinforce a point (always on how badly ive behaved) " even Fred thought you were wrong".
She always seems to exaggerate or invent things ive said or done - banging doors, shouting, to back up points.

All this has slowly eroded my confidence, turned me from a.happy to a miserable person. Now she blames me for changing and no.longer being fun. Im not saying I'm blameless and can be quick to show signs of irritation at times.

I have few people to bounce this off..anyone recognise this? Or is it me to blame?

If you can see a future with your wife then find a way to talk it out, either together or with counselling.

If you feel you would be happier alone start the divorce and get out into the world.

Don't worry about who was more unfair to the other. As long as not criminal it really does not matter. The future is where you want to get to. Seize control and get what you want.