Friend messages my husband more than me

[CormoranTheFish]

Two friends of mine (Kelly and Paula) are no longer in contact with one another. I had hoped they might be able to patch things up. It didn’t happen. Both said they wanted to carry on their friendships with me without seeing one another.
Kelly is an organiser and I still see her often. Neither Paula nor I are natural organisers, but since the rift I’ve taken on that role happily, because I want to see my friend. I’m also the one who initiates any (infrequent) text conversations. Initially, it worked and we met up a couple of times, but on the next four or five occasions that I set things up, she cancelled. I get that she has a lot going on and life is tough with kids/work/older relatives, but I feel like if she wanted to, she could’ve made time at some point in the last 6 months.
My husband is friends with Paula’s DH and she quite regularly messages my husband for info about school events, or help with admin—all stuff that Kelly used to help her with before they ended their friendship.

I just realised this morning that I did not text Paula to wish her a Merry Christmas. I felt really bad, until I reminded myself that she has not texted me either.

Do I just take the hint and leave it up to her to initiate anything further? I’ll be really interested to see if she carries on messaging my husband and not me.

I’d leave it for her to message, it might be that she wants it to fizzle out.

Just leave it, I did this, saw said friend in the supermarket and she was all hyper, ooo let’s meet up etc, I said great just text me when you’re free and we’ll go to X (near her house) … nothing! That was about 18 months ago … no loss there! Saying that she doesn’t text my DH …. Not so sure I’d be ok about that ?!

Thanks, I think you are right.

Thanks for replying. I guess it’s just less awkward for them to say yes let's stay friends/meet up in person and then let it die by lack of action.
It’s odd her messaging my husband and not me though. I’d love to see how
she reacted if I did the same to her(I never would do this). I don’t think she’d like it much.

@CormoranTheFish has she messaged your dh a Merry Christmas ?

Cancelling 4 or 5 times is beyond flakey.

Wouldn’t bother making much effort with Paula.

Wouldn’t be impressed with DH ‘helping’ and texting Paula, who is an adult and is being a cheeky fucker, at best, to seek help from a friend rather than sort stuff out herself. Only a problem if your H panders to it.

If she's cancelled that often, the message is clear.

I can see why it's irritating that she's messaging your husband for stuff that she can find out herself. I'd be inclined to ask my husband to start replying "not sure of the details, text @CormoranTheFish ".

No she hasn’t. I sent a message this morning after I posted, saying belated Merry Christmas happy new year and asked after family but no response (she’s seen it). So that’s it from me to her now unless she gets in touch.

How does your husband deal with this regular contact from her?
Does he ignore it or encourage it?

I have no problem with DH responding. He is a kind and helpful person. I don’t understand why she asks him and not me.

He responds. He’s just helping out a friend eg saying pick up is at 6pm, in response to her asking. We all used to socialise in a group with DHs before Paula and Kelly fell out, so they know each other well. My DH is friends with hers, though not as close now as they were before.

Thanks, you are right.