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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

SIL overwhelming.

4 replies

Xmasmess · 25/12/2025 23:15

We look after FIL .we have had a difficult time last few years, which wasn’t helped by FIL moving in for 9 months. Son, 17 , would scarper as soon as FIL appeared. FIL moved to his own house, but We now look after FIL every day and it’s a lot.
last Xmas SIL and her daughter stayed and overwhelmed with chaos and drama. We can’t cope with it quite frankly. This year we said that as SIL is coming and staying with her dad ‘to help look after him’ we would say thanks for that, we will have a break fromFIL and we will have Xmas day just with our son,. He is 18 and back from university, and we need time as a family.
SIL predictably has the hump and has been all passive aggressive and victim-y. DH and I are giving her lifts, popping in for coffee etc. but it’s still causing tension. She’s the sort that has to be the star of the show, and we just don’t have the energy.she’s not even here today, but we feel guilty etc.
DH and I have just had the same old row that isn’t really about her though I think it’s brought on by the tension. I feel overwhelmed by his family.
suggestions to cope/ find calm please!
edited because even I was getting confused ( and bored of thinking of SIL)

OP posts:
Tired6789 · 25/12/2025 23:36

It sounds like you're a fantastic DIL. I would try not to focus on your SIL. She'll have to get over it.

Xmasmess · 26/12/2025 01:17

Thank you tired6789
think I just needed to vent.
hope your user name doesn’t reflect your situation and you soon feel full of beans

OP posts:
Northernparent68 · 26/12/2025 08:04

I don’t understand why you are giving her lefts and popping in for coffee, stop doing it and enjoy the space

Xmasmess · 26/12/2025 14:37

Thank you! Have just told him son and I need calm before they come here but he’s welcome to go there. They’ve gone to lunch and I’m eating chocolate. Much better!

OP posts:
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