Hi everyone, I am currently in the process of separating from my soon to be ex husband, the marriage was difficult. Not all of the marriage was bad but I put up with a fair bit of financial control and him messing around with other women resulting in an affair. He left for the affair partner, and after the emotional fall out I wished him the best and I decided to move on. Things didn’t work out with the AP so he came back with a vengeance.
Withholding schedules, changing schedule right at the last moment resulting in me changing plans, looking through my windows, picking up and dropping the kids off at nursery and looking through the windows at work for me (nursery nurse in my children’s nursery) making tinder profiles to see what I had put on there and admitting it through text, asking my colleagues information on me and if I still worked at the nursery to try and find out information. Begging for me back the changing his mind. It’s honestly been a horrific year and I have moved back to my home town to be closer to my family. Police have been involved and my health visitor is willing to write a statement on concerns she raised about my ex she had when she first started working with the family about him. I’m worried this is going to case holy hell as police are looking to convict him of coercive control and stalking. I have many witnesses of the stalking from colleagues I worked with who would hide me in the toilets so he wouldn’t see me and tell me if he had entered the building so I could hide. I have expressed to police I don’t want anything bad to happen to him, losing his job or to be given a prison sentence, and I want him to continue having a relationship with his kids because I know he would never hurt his kids I just need his behaviour towards me to stop. This was in no shape of form malicious to stop him seeing his kids or anything like that and I wanted to make this clear.
I have never had a good relationship with my mother, she is such hard work, over exaggeration all the time, she is just highly irritating and everything has to be about her all of the time. I have cut her off a few times in the past because she’s a lot to deal with. I had a medical misdiagnosis when I was younger and I accused her for it because all she does is over exaggerate all of the time, although it wasn’t her fault. But I did blame her and still do sometimes. I was a child and I missed out on a lot. GP records show no concerns on the family and point more towards negligence of the doctors. I don’t spend time with my mother however I do encounter her at family gatherings and I act civil and leave. I do this for my elderly grandparents and siblings so I can maintain contact with them without drama.
I’m worried my coparent is going to try and use this against me because I did blame her out of anger. I’m worried he’s going to try and bring this up in court as a safeguarding concern for the kids if he finds out I’m being civil with my mother, there’s no concerns but I did blame her out of pure anger, I was a child and I didn’t understand what was going on with me. The kids are never alone with my mother anyway and like I said no safeguarding concerns on file with the family GP or other professionals. I’m terrified I’ll lose my kids because of a false allegation.. I’ve seen how this family are in a previous coparenting/custody battle and they are not nice.
I have reports from nursery, health visitor, managers of the nursery, other professionals, friends and more saying how fantastic of a parent I am with our SEN child, how proactive I am and how hard I work to enable she gets the best quality of life and how great I am with both children, they are my whole world. I even text messages even from during the separation process from my ex and his mother saying how amazing the kids are and that’s down to me.
I feel like I am living in a nightmare, I would do anything for my babies they are my world and I am so worried they are going to try and take my children.
From a very frustrated coparent and mamma 😭😮💨