Feeling really lonely

[Anyavailableusernames]

As the title says….separated from DH earlier this year (he had an affair) after 25 years together. I had no idea, thought we were undoubtedly forever, so I was completely blindsided. Very long story, with lots of ups and downs, false promises, etc etc. We have a child so the contact is still there. I can’t give too much detail but it’s been a very tough few months for both of us, for different reasons obviously.

We are definitely over but I think the time of year has highlighted how lonely and worthless I feel and I can’t stop crying this evening . Not sure why I’m posting, maybe just for some kind words and to find hope for the future.

Awww I’m sorry op
relatively it’s still very early days after a long relationship
I’m feeling a bit teary tonight also
this time of year always magnifies feelings doesn’t it?
just want you to know you’re not alone in feeling as you do right now and bumping your post for you

Come on, OP — you’ve really had a tough year. Are you being kind to yourself?
Have a really, really self-indulgent Christmas. Anything you want — eat it, drink it, enjoy it.
Then look ahead to 2026 and make a few small plans — nothing overwhelming or hard to achieve.
I’ve found that nothing lasts forever, good or bad. As the saying goes, “this too shall pass.” And it will. Something else will take its place, or it will evolve into something better or different.
And you’re a woman and women are amazing, resilient and we make the world go around.. it won’t always be dark at 6 as we say up north!

Of course Christmas will make you feel like shit after what you've been through this year. That bastard! You'll get through this. You're not alone.

Be kind to yourself. Tomorrow is a new day.

HUG. It gets better with time. Be kind to yourself.

Oh love. Just let yourself feel sad, but know it will pass

Thank you - even just reading a few kind, supportive words is making me cry! I have good friends around me and I’ve worked hard to get to a ‘good place’ mentally but nothing has prepared me for feeling so low at a time of year I’ve always loved so much. My little family was everything to me.

You're not alone for a sad and painful Christmas. My husband passed away unexpectedly 2 months ago.
As others have said to me, be kind to yourself and don't set expectations.
You are not worthless. You have a child, who must see you as the guiding light as they progress through life, even if you take the time to grieve now and then step into those giant shoes later.
There are also likely many people out there who would turn up if something bad were to happen to you. There may even be a secret admirer you have long forgotten, a highscool crush, that would take you on in a heartbeat.
Never think you are worthless. You just don't know, you are more valuable to others than you realise.

I’m so sorry for your loss, sending hugs.

Thank you ❤️
The focus of the message is on you though. I simply wanted to give context that you are not suffering a shit christmas alone

You're grieving sweetheart, it's the loss of your man and what you thought your future would be. It's so early days, just be gentle with yourself, treat yourself like your own best friend. Things will get better moving forward, I promise x

Perfectly natural to feel this way given your circumstances. Besides, having a good cry can really help...

How did you manage today, OP?

I hope it wasn't too difficult a day for you

Thinking of you, Christmas is a very hard time of year and I'm pretty sure things can only get better

My 20 year marriage also collapsed this year. We are still sharing a house and spent yesterday together with our teenage children. It was a very difficult day and probably our last family Christmas. I’m really struggling with the feelings of worthlessness too.
I was actually feeling better right up until yesterday when it all hit me again. I’m going to try and get my head back into that better space. Next year I’d like to hire a cottage with a hot tub, walk on a beautiful beach and eat pizza for Christmas dinner. On my own or with my youngest who doesn’t really like Christmas either.
I have found a series of podcasts called ‘Divorced and Better’ very helpful to listen to. Inspiring stories of women putting themselves back together after divorce. We can do this too - best wishes to you xx

Hi Op Hope that you had a peaceful Christmas. As you say you have good friends and if I were in your situation I would spend more time with them if possible and tell them how you feel if you have not already.