When I was 21 a friend was insulting me at the pub. After I left I burst into tears and didn’t speak to her for a year. She saw me in the street and sent me an email saying she missed me and wanted to be friends again. I explained that she had hurt me and I don’t want her to insult me again. She apologised and promised never to be hurtful again.
Over the years she could be nice then other times she would be in defensive mode for no reason. I had to cut her off a few years ago when I was 35 as she had slipped back into her old ways and said something out of line. I don’t know why she promised to not be hurtful again then went back to her old ways.
Another friend had to cut her off after 25 years of friendship saying it was not good for her self esteem. She has fallen out with loads of people. I met her mother before and she was sarcastic and defensive and gave off hostile vibes so I guess she grew up with that behaviour. She used to tell her mother things about her friends which is why she would be hostile to us.
What annoys me is she plays the victim saying friends end the friendship with her yet she doesn’t explain to others her nasty behaviour. If a man was to keep putting a woman down and insulting her, people would say it is domestic abuse yet this woman thinks it’s ok or ‘banter’ to insult and put her friends down. I don’t know why she wouldn’t stop being nasty to people.
This time of year has been a trigger for me as we all used to go out as a group for Christmas drinks. It’s bugging me why she had to behave this way but wouldn’t change her behaviour. I can’t understand why she was so unkind to people, she had some great friends. It seemed like jealousy.