New partner or child’s parent?

[Yung93]

Hi guys,

What are thoughts on this?

Should a man’s new girlfreind or a woman's new boyfriend buy them a Dads/Mums Christmas gift from their children who they have with their ex partner? Or would this be the role of their ex partner?

I doubt an ex would do it tbh (unless still on really good terms), but don't think it's the place of a new girlfriend. Both would be weird imo

Ex I would think, if the partner is new and not a major part of the child's life.

I don’t think it’s the role of either.

Neither

Neither

Agree with PP; it’s neither

If they’re still being called ‘new’ partner they probably shouldn’t have met the children so definitely a no to buying gifts from them.
If exes get on well then that’s fine. It’s their own child’s dad/mum so they’re probably doing it for the child’s benefit. Not everyone hates their ex.

Parents don’t need presents from their children. When they are old enough to have money of their own, sure, a small token gift. But it’s definitely not a new partner’s job to take a child who isn’t theirs off shopping. And it really shouldn’t be the ex’s either. If your child really wants to buy you something, you give them £5 and take them to the shop and avert your eyes to not ruin the surprise.

If the ex is still on reasonable terms then o would say it’s them.

I wouldn’t expect a new partner to buy a present on behalf of the kids - that’s a bit of an overstep imo

Depends on how recent ‘new’ is and the relationship they have with the child.

If the relationship is good than there’s no issue.
The new partner might have a better idea of what to get (especially if they have children themselves of a similar age).

Agree with the others, depends how new is new (weeks/months no, years yes)! OH and I are a blend and we take the kids to choose presents for the other. But equally I’ve taken younger DC to choose a token gift each for their dad (my exh) this year (eldest has sorted it herself) - he only has them every other weekend so prob doesn’t get much chance to take them himself and as someone said, it’s not for his benefit, it’s for the DC. However he doesn’t expect it and wouldn’t get funny about it if I didn’t do it - he doesn’t do it in reverse and that’s fine by me. Basically there’s no set rule!

It depends on so many factors.
Age of child / is the ‘new partner’ in any way yet a step parent, level of amicable co parenting.

Just tell us your situation.

DH's ex always did, until they got old enough to buy their own, but they are on good terms. I, as the stepmum, wouldn't have done. Though they do ask me know whether what they are thinking of it a good idea.

My situation is I have my daughter who is 15 have not seen her Dad unfortunately for 13 years but that’s ok because she is close with my Dad so she tends to buy for him. My partner I have been with for 3 years and every year I have always bought from his daughter who is now 12. The other day she mentioned she had got gifts for her Mum which her Dad bought which I thought was lovely though he said he didn’t buy. But nothing for her Dad even though she was going shopping the other day with her Mum and I gave her ideas what she could get him (because I’ll be honest, I have no money whatsoever - I’m a student and literally have £50 to my name until January) I don’t doubt her mother doesn’t have any money because they go shopping/holidays a lot. As for bad terms, apparently she cheated on my partner but my partner still buys for her so I can’t see why bad terms would be an issue for her. I’m now feeling bad he doesn’t have anything from her but also very busy too with other unwell family members.