Allowing my ex the car seat for our daughter.

[ridingsolo25]

I know this sounds petty but I’m just asking a question.

so my ex every now and then when he has our daughter wants the car seat, he doesn’t drive and he brought it when we was together when I was pregnant with her, he ask for it as he goes out with his grand parents for dinner with her. Now yesterday as per usual he caused an argument 1 because I couldn’t get her early as I was busy (was his weekend) and 2 because I wouldn’t help him with her stuff, he lives in a block of flats that have iron stairs and it was raining yesterday and they get really slippery, I feel they are dangerous. He said to me in spite I will just take her car seat and her pram back as I brought it, he does this when he doesn’t get his own way starts threatening things, I said you can do that but I wont be able to take her home as I need the car seat. To which he quickly put it in the car. Now because of what a prick he is do I actually have to allow him the car seat when he needs it or shall I just get him to buy his own, or shall I give him it and just buy my own?He doesn’t drive and it’s me doing him favours and I’m sick of him always threatening to take her stuff back because he is having a tantrum about me not jumping to his demands.

OP, my DS Bio was like this.
Just buy your own as soon as you can afford it. He will complain, potentially call you stupid, possibly claim you only had the money to buy them because of his matinance money- therefore he bought them!
Somethings DD will need two of. Also why are you picking up does he not know what public transport is?

Buy your own car seat and have it properly fitted to your car.
Taking a car seat in and out all the time can be dangerous.

100% this

I’m not an idiot. Please don’t call me that.
the OP has mentioned “brought” in her first post, “brings” in her second post and “brought” in her third. So there was an element of ambiguity.

Why wouldn't you help him carry things? That's a normal decent thing to do?
Yes give him the car seat when he has your baby so much drama over non issues

Yeah right 🙄

The reason I picked her up this time was because he took the car seat as needed it as went out for dinner with his grand parents, he couldn’t carry the car seat and pram and her and her stuff so I dropped her and picked her up that time. So I actually wasn’t being petty as others have said I did him a favour.

I don't think you are petty at all.
If you each have your own it will be one less thing required of you, it shouldn't be on you to help facilitate a relationship with her wider family on his side.
Get both the pram and car seat for yourself before you drop his off.

My DC are a bit older, but they get picked up at the door in their cloths and coat. They might take a toy if they choose but I don't pack anything or respond to requests to borrow any of my equipment. So much easier not to be chasing for things back or having to wash / fix / replace stuff he hasn't bothered looking after.

Owning the equipment you need to take care of your child is just a basic part of parenting, so no reason the other parent shouldn't have to do it. I'd get your own seat and pram, then draw a line under any shared items. She's older now anyway so you'll be fine with a lite weight buggy and possibly next stage of care seat, if that makes it more affordable.

My DC are a bit older, but they get picked up at the door in their cloths and coat. They might take a toy if they choose but I don't pack anything or respond to requests to borrow any of my equipment. So much easier not to be chasing for things back or having to wash / fix / replace stuff he hasn't bothered looking after.

Owning the equipment you need to take care of your child is just a basic part of parenting, so no reason the other parent shouldn't have to do it. I'd get your own seat and pram, then draw a line under any shared items. She's older now anyway so you'll be fine with a lite weight buggy and possibly next stage of care seat, if that makes it more affordable.

That’s another thing I have to pack clothes for her, blanket, hair brush, socks, knickers and hat and scarf and gloves. He don’t have anything at his. That’s something i have put on the child arrangements agreement because if I forget something I just get a load of shit for it. When it’s not even deliberate.

It's a hard balance because obviously you don't want your kid to not have something they need, but it is his responsibility to have enough stuff at his house for the time he has her. If he pays the CMS amount, this is reduced proportionally to amount of time the NRP has them, because the expectation is they pay for needs during that time.

After I stopped sending a bag (with months of warning) there was a couple of times of him having to take cold/wet kids home early from outing before he realised owning wellies and spare cloths might be a good idea. I was OK with letting the learning curve play out, but mine were older and it was summer. I appreciate it is a harder judgement call to make if you think he might leave baby without hat/gloves/blanket in the middle of winter.