Presents from partner

[Carol52]

is there something wrong with my. My partner of 30 years has asked what I want for Christmas. We split up and he moved out 8 years ago but we are still sort of together but he lives separate. The thing is I pay for everything for Christmas he comes round eats and enjoys everything does not offer anything and I really struggle financially he knows that. I have no family apart from our 2 children so I don’t want to be left alone. I just don’t want him to buy me anything . Is there something g wrong with me.

Ask him to contribute to the cost of the meal if you don’t want a gift as such?

Ask him for a voucher from your local supermarket so after Christmas your food bill is covered. Also ask him to bring drinks/ treats for Christmas day.

It sounds as though you need to really reflect on things in the new year and what you want your life to look like. He isn’t a partner, you aren’t a couple in any meaningful sense, so whilst there may not be “something wrong with the you” there is obviously something off-kilter with your life, with your self esteem, that after all these years you’re still enmeshed like this. Wanting him around as company just because you don’t have anyone else isn’t a healthy dynamic for either of you, or for the children. Start focusing on you and by this time next year, all of that could change - you could have new friends or even a new partner.

It’s perfectly normal not to really want a present considering things. As others have said, tell him the you don’t want present but you do want him to contribute to or bring XYZ for food and drink for the day.

Thank you for your messages. I don’t want him to know my financial situation . I may say to him about co tribute g to the good etc. see what he says but you are correct I need to change my life next year. I find it so hard because I have no one at all when things are hard or go wtong

Still sort of together? You mean you're providing Christmas dinner and a physical relationship for him? Why would you do this ? He's got the member's benefits without paying the fees.

You dont have this cocklodger either.

Does he pay towards the children and their presents for Christmas? Make sure you ask him for money for them at least.

I don't want presents someone else has chosen either, and it seems daft for adults to sxcgange wish lists they could buy themselves. In that situation, I'd either asked for contribution to dinner, wine/crackers/dessert, or suggest a day or evening out to have after Chistmas.

I wouldn't tell him nothing is fine.

He does contribute to the children.

Do you still have sex with him?

No