Just read a trending thread by a woman whose Dh had a gay affair. The question of letting him stay with her and the kids over Christmas to avoid disruption for them, has been a bit of a light bulb moment.
when I was very young, my parents marriage was failing and they were trying to patch it up. At Christmas my siblings and I stayed with family and my parents went away for a night or 2 for some child free time. I have a really strong memory of things being wrong, being away from home, the Christmas stocking being different ( they were bought by helpful relatives) and my parents coming to their house after a few days and a terrible tense atmosphere. I can’t remember Christmas Day, but all my adult life I have struggled with depression especially at this time of year, and it struck me how we often think “to avoid disrupting the children” when things break down. And wondering if trying to keep things stable outwardly really makes any difference. I hope the children of the poster whose husband is asking to stay do come out unscathed, but I’m not optimistic having their dad there will be comfortable for anyone.
sorry it’s rambling, I’m only thinking aloud but think it’s worth saying it’s taken me over 50 years to reach this point.