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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you cope with a spouse who travels a lot?

2 replies

ThatPearlBear · 21/12/2025 19:55

My DC are 10 and 11. The youngest has additional needs. My DH and I have no family support around us at all.
When we had children I was further ahead in my career than he was, and I had always travelled a lot with work. He didn't travel at all.
I changed jobs to avoid the travel after the children came, I was happier not leaving them. We moved out of London, which meant dh was commuting daily and out 7-7 but we managed ok.
By the time dc2 was 3 his needs were becoming very apparent and nursery Long hours wasn't working so I stopped working. It was far better for him to have me around, and there were so many appointments etc it made sense to have one of us around for him.
The intention was always that I go back to work and I spent the time while they were at school studying for a qualification.
But as the years went by DHs career got busier and travel was needed. For the past 6 years or so it's been about a week a month of travel.
It's bloody exhausting to have everything on me all the time, and I feel totally abandoned when he leaves.
I know he's working, but I've done his job and I know who has it easier on those weeks.
How do those of you in my place cope without getting resentful? It's so stressful sometimes to have it all on me. We've had times I've had to take to one to a and e or ones been sick and the stress of knowing its just me and I need to be there to collect the other etc is too much sometimes.
It was such a battle to get my qualification completed, there was always another trip and / or more appointments for dc2 that came first. Now its done and I was so excited to go to work (in a more parent friendly career) but dread knowing that I'll be balancing that with the kids without help most of the time.
How do you all do it?

OP posts:
HardworkSendHelp · 21/12/2025 20:33

I have to travel and could be away three nights a week maybe twice a month. If I know I am away I meal plan the week, batch cook and really all husband has to do is heat food up. He is capable of cooking but I just feel it is too much for him to work all day, collect our child, and keep on top of laundry and house on his own. So I do my bit before I go. I imagine there are very few men which would prep to help their wives. But they should. It is the easy week staying in a hotel with no cooking, house stuff to do

ThatPearlBear · 22/12/2025 14:28

Thank you. I usually prep for his trips like this but maybe I should ask him to do some of that, it would definitely help x

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