Coparenting/still have feelings/ bitterness

[LemonSquash02]

Sorry for the long post and have posted previously before getting things off my chest. So basically when my ex left in April after 13 years wasn’t happy 2 months later moved in with partner introduced DC after ‘6 weeks’ of knowing her obviously didn’t agree but nothing I could do anyways kids have been sleeping at her flat since September then ex messaged me 3 weeks ago saying his life a car crash kids are better off without him he’s moving back to his mams as no space for kids to stay now that she has her children moved back and he is going to save for a flat. Then that turned into he’s staying there 3 nights a week and rest at his mams which kids can’t stay at his mams as no space either. He is literally picking them up for tea one night and having them 10-5 on a sat. He’s said his partner has asked if she can start seeing the Kids again but they haven’t been for 3 weeks and my daughter is already still heartbroken when he left there is just no stability as in them 3 weeks he never mentioned about taking them back after I got them in routine. We had an argument because I said it must be nice to have no bills to pay no school runs no sleepless nights and spend time with a partner and he said actually she’s been at work all weekend and done more hours than you have worked this week all because I took 2 days holidays this week to go Xmas shopping/nativity plays/Carol service and I just feel it’s really heartless after everything I am doing on my own for them and very little support and he’s just working when he wants sleeping when he wants seeing DC couple hours and other times with his partner and I have no life. He has always been very bitter since he left I suppose it just hurts as there is still feelings there on my side and I know he’s besotted by her but know she only works a Friday and sat night so they have the freedom together all week and easier life as his job is mainly weekends and it’s been 9month and I do have better days but just wish they would go away as quick as he moved on from me. Don’t even know the point just needed to rant as still heartbroken/angry/ hurt whilst he is living his life

I understand this. I have mixed feelings towards ex partner and he was abusive and left two years ago this Christmas and I have times where I feel like I’m grieving someone who died he left to be with a rich client at work. So he’s richer than ever can go on holiday after holiday whilst he won’t pay the right amount of CM, everything is an up hill battle. I’m working more than ever and worked out I have only two days a month to myself without the children and that I’m not working.

It’s a boring answer but time it takes time. Every 6 months you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come. 9 months is still very fresh. You see them doing things that look alien to you but the truth is they just repeat the same patterns I think and you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. His life doesn’t sound that great living in cramped flats that can’t have his kids around. The shine will wear off his relationship soon enough. He’s still in the honey moon period whilst he also ran away from his reality aka family ect and that’ll catch up to him.

My ex a year later ended up getting arrested as became obsessed when I started dating again barring in mind he had a two year affair and had been in relationship with this person almost a year before I started seeing someone.

He ended up punishing the kids as a way to get to me and now after police there is no contact at all. Sometimes my feelings are complicated but it’s a haunting experience you have a life and family you built with someone who essentially burned it to the ground. The more time that passes you’ll see him for who he is and you will have built more of a life of your own.

@Herefornoww thank you for replying yes I do look back at how I was a few month ago and know I have come further on so do hope another few months I will feel better. And yes he was complete opposite walked away for an easier selfish life went to the other end with a partner who works a few hours a week and no responsibilities as children live their grandparent. It’s insulting both ways isn’t it. I know I get they are still in honeymoon period and know it will wear off but I just imagine them happy in love and I know I need to concentrate on my life and I do try every day some days are just harder as would never want him back just can’t believe he done it in first place like ripped his family apart for that selfish easy life. I hope your ok sounds like you have had a rough time. They always say it’s ok for them to do it but when you move on they don’t like it