Anyone feel like an outsider when it comes to family?

[2015XXX]

Does anyone feel really isolated and just ‘different’ to everyone else when you’re with your family?

i just don’t have any sense of truly feeling included when I’m with my older siblings and their partners. I find my sisters both very strange characters, very judgemental and opinionated and one of my bother in laws just so damm rude all the time to me! I’m an adult and a mother, but whilst I am the youngest of us all I just feel spoken down too and not heard.

Our mum died a few years ago, and they all had issues with her. She would say she felt singled out by them etc, and now she’s gone and having been the closest to her, I can see and feel so clearly what she meant. It’s like they’ve replaced her with me.

its hard to articulate, but has anyone been in a situation where you don’t want your own children to miss out on family, but you find being around them so difficult. It’s really getting to me.

Have a think about what your children will really be missing out on, rather than the family you wish you had. Think about how the memories you have of them, how you observed them treat your Mum, and how they’ve made you feel. Create your own family, make it a safe, inclusive space for your children, and for you.

Absolutely! I've been doing family relation visits that I dislike for the past 9 years.
I had a proper stand up row with my sister, who then went to bed, who I carried on with my brother in law. The 'I'm hurting more than you' after our parents died has calmed down.
In recent years my ex has been invited with his new partner, over the Christmas period, rather than my daughter and I.
I know where I stand. I make the effort for my DD to see her Cousins...always at her house.
If I had a choice, Id never see my sister again. She doesn't bring anything purposeful into my life.

Completely. I really try to minimise contact which helps but I feel pretty lonely tbh.

Families fight and argue but they are usually always there for each other in tough times. I am a perfect example of this. My family isolated me on accusations of past. These things were false but my family do not believe me. But they have always been hostile. All i can do and all you can do is try our best to stay engaged.

This certainly rings a bell with me...I'm the youngest of three sisters too and they're also v judgemental.
will come back to you 🌹

💯 feel the same as you!