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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I need some advice

11 replies

chanish · 19/12/2025 12:50

I have been talking to this guy for maybe a month and things were going well but he was a bit inconsistent with his texts and I have told him that I did not like it twice and he did it again so I cut the contact after giving very cold responses and he asked why then I said "why would that even matter?" then he responded with " maybe you are right" then we cut the contact after that. but now I feel like I ghosted him but he did not initiate any contact either. and I feel like I violated my own moral values because I told him before things were like this that I would not leave without an explanation. i am hesitant whether I should send a text explaining things then ending the contact or should I not even say anything anymore?

OP posts:
PGmicstand · 19/12/2025 12:52

Just leave it.
You explained in the first place. If he can't join the dots that's his problem.

Original poster
chanish · 19/12/2025 13:02

PGmicstand · 19/12/2025 12:52

Just leave it.
You explained in the first place. If he can't join the dots that's his problem.

I was kinda into him, but do you think I should remove him completely from social media too?

OP posts:
PGmicstand · 19/12/2025 13:20

Yes.
Block, delete, and move on. Life's too short.

Girlmom35 · 19/12/2025 13:22

You talked to him for a month.
He's taking up way too much space in your head for that.
You owe him nothing more than what you've given.

Now, don't spend another moment thinking of him and move on with your life.

JudgeBread · 19/12/2025 13:24

You're giving this too much headspace, he's a random man you talked to for a month and who by all accounts wasn't showing that much interest in you!

You've explained, contact has now ended, that's it. Just block and carry on, life is too short to waste time on fairweather men.

Original poster
chanish · 19/12/2025 13:38

i know i should remove him from social media but I feel like I am violating my morals for some reason..

OP posts:
Original poster
chanish · 19/12/2025 13:39

Girlmom35 · 19/12/2025 13:22

You talked to him for a month.
He's taking up way too much space in your head for that.
You owe him nothing more than what you've given.

Now, don't spend another moment thinking of him and move on with your life.

i know and i have other men that i am talking too but this is just bothering me for some reason but thank you for your advice I will remove him.

OP posts:
Original poster
chanish · 19/12/2025 13:40

JudgeBread · 19/12/2025 13:24

You're giving this too much headspace, he's a random man you talked to for a month and who by all accounts wasn't showing that much interest in you!

You've explained, contact has now ended, that's it. Just block and carry on, life is too short to waste time on fairweather men.

Edited

yeah i shouldnt think about him this much but even though there are others that I am talking to this situation is keep bothering me like I did something bad and I cannot shake it off...

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 19/12/2025 13:47

chanish · 19/12/2025 13:40

yeah i shouldnt think about him this much but even though there are others that I am talking to this situation is keep bothering me like I did something bad and I cannot shake it off...

Show quote history

You didn't. It's ok that sometimes things don't conclude on good terms - you and he weren't compatible, that's all.

You didn't leave without explanation, you explained to him what your expectations of communication were, he decided he wasn't happy with that, you ended communication. He already has his explanation.

You don't have to be softly-softly gently-gently all the time, and you don't have to over explain yourself and soften the blow when someone isn't listening to you and you've had enough of it. It's ok to be pissed off with someone and express it, and it's ok to stop talking to someone after only a month without tying up the ending neatly and making sure no feelings were hurt.

TheThingOnTheIce · 19/12/2025 13:49

You did give an explanation
don’t embarrass yourself by contacting him again

Original poster
chanish · 19/12/2025 13:54

JudgeBread · 19/12/2025 13:47

You didn't. It's ok that sometimes things don't conclude on good terms - you and he weren't compatible, that's all.

You didn't leave without explanation, you explained to him what your expectations of communication were, he decided he wasn't happy with that, you ended communication. He already has his explanation.

You don't have to be softly-softly gently-gently all the time, and you don't have to over explain yourself and soften the blow when someone isn't listening to you and you've had enough of it. It's ok to be pissed off with someone and express it, and it's ok to stop talking to someone after only a month without tying up the ending neatly and making sure no feelings were hurt.

Show quote history

thank you for your kind response, i really appreciate it. I think, even though I knew this, I needed to hear from someone else too.

OP posts:
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