Dislike a 14 year old (not mine)

[Ithinkimalittlehorrible]

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this.
recently I started working on a community project and there are a few older kids getting involved. Most are fab - really funny, quirky people.
However, I'm scheduled to mentor one 14 year old girl for a theatre show, but I'm finding it really difficult!
I have a teenager myself (also a girl, 13). This girl is quite confident to the point of being bossy. I think, as a girl or woman, being assertive is a brilliant trait and one that helps you massively in life, but her quite forward/think she knows best attitude is really grating on me. An example of this is where she tries to take over with directing the production (by shouting out to the actors).
Her mum is often present, which makes me feel more self conscious. She is also bossy and thinks she knows best, but presents as a bubbly, kind, happy person.
This makes me feel like such a mean person, but I really dread seeing her where she is so grumpy and entitled, though she's not always grumpy in truth, just a little annoying.
So, go on - how horrible am I? I recognise this is a 'me problem', but it's really worrying me as I'm trying really hard not to be irritated, but nothing is working!
There isn't really an option for her to be mentored by someone else at the moment.

She needs to listen as does her Mum. Listening is a skill as in there are times to use both ears and listen without responding. She needs to develop this skill. You cannot mentor someone who does not want to listen. Listening is an active way to learn and develop. If she is not interested in that skill then you can politely not mentor her. The loudness and opinions is dominating status. So you will have to give her/her Mum equal energy to what they give you. She is asserting her rights, thoughts and equally she must see things globally from various perspectives. I say that as someone who mentors students at a professional level. Plus she is not self aware of her own presence/ impact on others. Once people learn self awareness they alter their behaviour.

If other parents are at the project they can be asked to not attend as it affects the dynamic of the teaching/ learning ( for mentors and students)

You’re her mentor, not her friend. Yes, liking her makes your job a lot easier but is isn’t necessarily a pre requisite. All you can do is be open to guiding her and support her in personal growth. If you can’t do this, then no one, least of all her benefits from your arrangement,

Don’t confuse her ‘over confidence’ with security, it could be the opposite.

I've spent years in live music and once in a while I get a young band through. Often as support.
And with them comes the parents.

Now as support all I care about is they get on and off the stage quickly and on time. And not try to upstage the headline.

Quite often this is their first time on a big stage and egos run wild. They know everything and their parents know even more.

Being softly spoken or kind and understanding does them absolutely no favours in this world.

I talk to them all like adults who know nothing. I tell them why they need their amps down or cabs facing sideways, I tell them how to hold the mic so it doesnt feedback and how much it will cost them to replace it if they decide to do a mic drop. But first I tell them all to shut up listen and understand I will absolutly cut their set out if they do not do exactly what I tell them. I tell the parents to politely but firmly f*ck off if your not in the band.

I do make it clear that what I want is to give them an understanding of how to make life easy for the crew and how that will make them easier to ask back and get them on more tours.

9 times out of 10 this works well. The 10th time, they are very rarely heard from again.

Some of the acts I've worked with like that are now selling out stadiums and I get asked by most to work with them still.

Dont pander to the egos. You are in charge for a reason. But let the girl and her mum know that your aim is to make them better.

Not long ago 14 year olds were leaving school and getting jobs, you don't like all adults and it's perfectly reasonable to not like all nearly adults. That doesn't mean you don't do your job with her, although I'm not sure what you mean by mentoring her in this context. If she's shouting out instructions and that's not her job she should be told to keep quiet and stick to what she should be doing.

Thanks all for comments and advice, very appreciated.

I've worried about being an egomaniac strict director so much that it's made me swing too far other way - I've been too understanding and have tread too softly to save others feelings.

I'm going to do a piece on listening both on and off stage before the next rehearsal, and see if that has any impact. Even if it doesn't, I feel that I can confidently be more firm, and tell them what needs to happen.
It's a good lesson for me. Firm, with strict boundaries, and clear direction doesn't mean I'm an arsehole (necessarily).

And yes, I suppose I'm not going to like all young adults in the way that I don't like all grown ups, but I can still work with her