Texting and not meeting

[Sunshine386]

Does anyone else wish they lived in the 1970s or something. I'm using dating apps and people either want to message endlessly on there, or you go on a date with them, but they want to message lots after the date, men who dont suggest meeting again or have no particular urgency to, seemingly. They just want to message for several days after dates without suggesting another date, then I think they can see my enthusiasm wane, but its because there's no sense at my end that they're genuinely interested.

Does anyone else get bored with this type of tedious behaviour and feel like youre being strung along? Obviously the solution is me asking them out, but in the long term I don't think it solves anything because you end up with someone who isn't proactive and who you have to make all the moves with. How do others deal with this sort of behaviour without going into the realms of coming off as over the top and demanding?

Erm.. yes and no. You realise they could be thinking exactly the same thing, right? Just because you ask once doesn't mean you will always have to be "proactive". The main question is, do you want a second date with them? You can absolutely ask. If there is nothing coming from them after the second date, THEN you can say they are never going to be proactive.

Other than that, even getting to the first date is almost impossible in 99% of cases. Men just seem to want a penpal.

Currently dating someone new. He ways takes two days before bringing up the next time to meet. Working really hard to just relax into it 😁

Don't get too involved in long or frequent texting. If they want to see you agin they can suggest a date. Make it clear at the outset that you are not someone who enjoys text conversation, and then keep any responses short but friendly, and don't reply immediately.

@DelphiniumBlue I enjoy it if its accompanied by regular meeting, but not as a replacement. When it's the latter, it can go down the route of becoming a penpa, so I agree, it's best to set some boundaries.

@Catza I think my point is I want a man who can step up and ask me out, my experience of men who aren't proactive in early dating is that they end up being lazy and you have to drive everything.

I think waiting two days to ask you out is OK actually, I would just relax. What I'm talking about is it coming around almost to the next weekend and they are not asking me out, when I thought someone who had seen me the previous weekend would want to see me again the next weekend if things had gone well?! I think longer than that between dates is quite a long time personally

Ah yeah. A whole week is probably a lost cause. Like you, I usually just let the thing fizzle out and move on to the next.

I'm totally relaxed, it's just an unusual experience for me. Usually guys try to pin me down for the second date before the first one is even finished. I'm enjoying things being quite relaxed with this bloke but unravelling lifelong patterns is hard work.

Not a whole week but after several days it gets towards the time of the weekend and usually you have to find out someone's availability in good time