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Relationships

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Living arrangements

6 replies

Twizzlelolly · 18/12/2025 16:11

Separated 6 months ago. Have children together. It’s his house. We have separate bedrooms. I can’t afford to rent privately as studying and only work part time. We get along okay like housemates, but finding it hard emotionally especially this time of year. WWYD?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 18/12/2025 16:14

pause the studying and get a full time job
Move in with other family if you can
what’s the long term plan as it’s unsustainable ?

vanillalattes · 18/12/2025 16:14

Get a job and leave. He can kick you out at a moments notice if you’re not married.

Sanasaaa · 18/12/2025 16:16

If you're unmarried he could remove you from the house at any time. You should work full time and secure somewhere to live.

The kids can stay in the current home, or live between it and your (future) house. Your housing and financial security is crucial.

SwimBikeRunBake · 18/12/2025 18:57

You need a plan. Firstly, how likely is it that your ex will ask you to leave? What discussions have you had about future living arrangements and timeframes? If you haven't yet had this discussion then this would be a good place to start.

What qualification are you studying for, how long do you have left to complete the course and how does this affect your future job prospects? These things need to be taken into consideration before deciding whether or not to quit your course.

You say it his his house, does he pay a mortgage, how long have you lived there and have you contributed towards the mortgage at all? You need to establish if you have a beneficial interest in the house, just because you are not named on the mortgage doesn't mean you don't have a beneficial interest. It may not be much, but it may be enough for a deposit. You need to take professional advice on this.

What is the plan for future childcare arrangements? Will it be 50/50? Again something to discuss with your ex and make a plan for the future.

I was in your position about 18 months ago. We have been separated but living together for 2 years, but we had a plan, and i will be completing on my new house in January. If you have a plan and a clear direction and timeframe then this makes things easier, and it has got easier as the time has gone on.

Ponderingwindow · 18/12/2025 18:59

How long until you are done studying? Once you finish, will your anticipated wages allow you to support a household?

TessSaysYes · 18/12/2025 19:07

Could you continue to be separated and getting along ok till you graduate. Could you go to your parents for Christmas. Graduating is your route out of this situation. He could make things very difficult for you, but hasn't. If you left, would the kids stay with him or go with you?

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