Where to I find a man who wants children and marriage?

[ohohokeydokey]

Honestly just what the title says.

I want a stable relationship and to have children in two or so years. I don't want to wait around any longer, but I'm having such difficultly finding a guy that shares that same goal.

Finding someone that in the first instance is actually a compatible partner and we get along well, share the same interests etc.

And then someone who wants a long term relationship. And then someone who wants children too (and children soon) seems to be unbelievably difficult. I'm fairly traditional, I suppose.

I've used the apps. I don't struggle hugely to get matches, and don't struggle hugely to get dates. But the last two guys have said (and I quote) on the first or second date, after talking themselves into a corner: "I should actually probably tell you I was married...or still am married, in the middle of a separation." Yeah so no thank you. The others don't want children. Or don't want a LTR. Or we just don't really get along.

I've joined classes, but maybe not the right ones.

Anyone have any suggestions? Thank you in advance.

Fair enough point if OP is not in her early 20s.

In which case I would go w@taxguru's advice on it being a numbers game.

Your situation is frustrating, but I don't think it's unusual. The challenge isn't finding men who want marriage and children; it's finding someone who is genuinely available, compatible, and on the same timeline as you.

One thing that stood out is that you're already getting dates, which suggests the issue isn't meeting people. The bigger problem seems to be filtering out the ones who aren't being upfront. Someone mentioning they're still married on a first or second date is exactly the kind of information that should have been disclosed much earlier.

I'd focus less on increasing the number of dates and more on improving the screening process before meeting. Being direct about wanting a long-term relationship and children isn't unreasonable, especially if you're looking to start a family within a few years. The right person won't be scared off by an honest conversation about future goals.

It may also be worth exploring alternatives to traditional dating apps. Matchmaking services such as Princess Date Matchmaking tend to attract people who are intentionally seeking committed relationships rather than casually seeing where things go. That doesn't guarantee success, but it can help reduce the number of mismatched conversations.

From what you've written, your expectations sound realistic. Staying patient while remaining clear about your goals is probably the best approach. The wrong matches can make it feel impossible, but there are definitely people looking for the same things you are.

It’s your timeline. Obviously you want what you want, and if you’re 38, you may not want to waste fertile years, but at two years in I would be nowhere near ready to commit to having a child with someone,

I don’t think they exist. You can meet someone and be honest but it will scare them
off. It’s a game. I wish you all the best.

In my opinion, most men don’t want marriage or children, or at least don’t go out looking for it. Marriage and children is something men do to keep their partner happy.