Unhappy and feeling distant from husband

[KKD90]

Next year will be my 7th year living with my husband and his parents. This happens a lot in my culture, we are Indian.

Truthfully it has been a tough 7 years of rebuilding. We got married in 2019 and agreed we would live with his parents in London, and then eventually have kids, buy a house. And we have neither.

The job market was diabolical after Covid and I was temping a lot after losing my job due to a hit in the industry (fashion), no matter being in and out of jobs, I have always saved money.

Me and my husband have managed to save around £40K for a house deposit, but the area we live in, in order to remain we need a bit more! My husband is very against moving outside of Essex, where houses are a little cheaper. It is very much ‘it is my say if i’m putting more money down’, this makes me so angry.

I feel so distant towards me, I don’t even want him to touch me. I just feel he hasn’t put my needs first, he hasn’t wanted the best for us otherwise we wouldn’t be living with his parents, in our mid 30’s! He was scrolling on his phone looking at the he drives and accessories to kit it up with, I questioned his priorities. I just feel sad, we are also trying for a baby.

Social media really makes me compare, I just hate it sometimes. Advice is so welcome!

I'm sorry you are going through this. By mid 30s his priorities should be about starting a family as time isn't on your side. Could you rent? I know this means not being able to save for a house but maybe not every one has the means. It sounds like your lives on hold to get a house but this might not be achievable and in the meantime you are risking your prime fertility years on a hope and a dream.

I’d not be having a baby right now, I’d hold till the house and tell him that. Otherwise you’re never moving out;