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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Still processing and that you to all who responded to this post last weekend

17 replies

Mammadrama · 17/12/2025 03:30

My 16.5 year old discovered late tonight that our dog has eaten chocolate as discovered empty packet under his bed. He did ask my partner who works from home that he realised he left a bad of chocolate under his desk and quickly texted his Dad to remove it as the known potential toxicity to dogs.obviously he didn’t. He said because he was too busy- my partner was out tonight and we couldn’t get hold of him to ask in case he put the actual chocolate somewhere else —as he always puts his phone on silent. When he came home we asked if he moved the chocolate and he said no and didn’t care- My poor teenager was distraught with guilt and extremely upset. Partner comes home ( drunk) and I just asked why didn’t u just move the chocolate when our teenager texted u this morning and he got incredibly angry saying it has nothing to do with him and we are lazy ( the c word) and just got very very very angry. He was v verbally angry at me and was shouting at me saying it has nothing to do with him and he really got in my face and formed a fist. I didn’t back down ( yes I should have but I was dealing with a distraught kid and a potential trip to the emergency vet). Called us lazy bastards,and the c word and yelling that he was being accused of something he didn’t do. I am a scientist and know all about the risks of chocolate poisoning in dogs and have hammered into them not to be leaving chocolate around. My partner knows this. All day my teenager thought my partner moved the chocolate ( as his dad did see the message and conmented on how he still hides food/ sweets in his room- ( ie my teenager)but my teenager discovered the now empty bag of chocolate late a night before bed. Then my partner comes in my room and demands an apology- we had to say sorry to defuse him. I don’t think this is normal behaviour ( he did threaten me that he is going to get even more angry etc, and he did push me- not extremely hard but still)
OP posts: See

OP posts:
ForeverHopeful3 · 17/12/2025 03:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TeenToTwenties · 17/12/2025 10:00

I'm confused. Are your partner and 'his Dad' the same person or different?

Condensationon · 17/12/2025 10:02

I am so confused.

I saw this post a few days ago?

PersephonePomegranate · 17/12/2025 10:04

Are you also drunk, OP?

I too, am confused as to whether the partner is also the dad.

TheAutumnCrow · 17/12/2025 10:08

How’s the dog?

Lennonjingles · 17/12/2025 10:09

No update if the dog is ok, but strange. Also no way would I accept being called the “C” word, yes your DC is to blame, you cannot leave chocolate out where dogs can get it, sounds like you’ve got bigger problems with your partner.

Missj25 · 17/12/2025 23:56

Mammadrama · 17/12/2025 03:30

My 16.5 year old discovered late tonight that our dog has eaten chocolate as discovered empty packet under his bed. He did ask my partner who works from home that he realised he left a bad of chocolate under his desk and quickly texted his Dad to remove it as the known potential toxicity to dogs.obviously he didn’t. He said because he was too busy- my partner was out tonight and we couldn’t get hold of him to ask in case he put the actual chocolate somewhere else —as he always puts his phone on silent. When he came home we asked if he moved the chocolate and he said no and didn’t care- My poor teenager was distraught with guilt and extremely upset. Partner comes home ( drunk) and I just asked why didn’t u just move the chocolate when our teenager texted u this morning and he got incredibly angry saying it has nothing to do with him and we are lazy ( the c word) and just got very very very angry. He was v verbally angry at me and was shouting at me saying it has nothing to do with him and he really got in my face and formed a fist. I didn’t back down ( yes I should have but I was dealing with a distraught kid and a potential trip to the emergency vet). Called us lazy bastards,and the c word and yelling that he was being accused of something he didn’t do. I am a scientist and know all about the risks of chocolate poisoning in dogs and have hammered into them not to be leaving chocolate around. My partner knows this. All day my teenager thought my partner moved the chocolate ( as his dad did see the message and conmented on how he still hides food/ sweets in his room- ( ie my teenager)but my teenager discovered the now empty bag of chocolate late a night before bed. Then my partner comes in my room and demands an apology- we had to say sorry to defuse him. I don’t think this is normal behaviour ( he did threaten me that he is going to get even more angry etc, and he did push me- not extremely hard but still)
OP posts: See

I’m also very confused about partner/ Dad ??.
Whoever is the crazy person using all the foul language, directed at you , no it’s not normal & I wouldn’t like to be with him anyway .
You’d have a much nicer life OP with your son & your dog .
This really is the truth 🤷🏻‍♀️.

HoppityBun · 17/12/2025 23:59

Did you take the dog to the vet? Please don’t wait until the dog becomes ill.

liquoriceallsortfamily · 18/12/2025 00:04

How is the dog? He needs to see a vet urgently

KidsDoBetter · 18/12/2025 00:06

You’re a “scientist”?

Original poster
Mammadrama · 18/12/2025 10:57

Sorry for all the confusion, I was just trying to remain vague about some details in case anyone ( mainly relatives/ mom friends) are on mumsnet and if I name my profession and /married or not - they could easily piece this together and figure out it’s me. Hope that makes sense. I just reposted it to thank all who responded that night and it was an awful time for me and needed support asap. I was not drunk and our dog is fine thank God.

OP posts:
stormwatcher · 18/12/2025 12:54

I remember your thread, OP, it was an awful night for you and your son.
I remember your son saying he had never seen your husband so angry, which sounds like his behaviour is escalating.
Are you both safe?
One post that really helped me, when I started trying to process my husbands behaviour (after leaving him) was that there was no point trying to understand why- the fact is, he chose to be abusive, because he could.
Simple. Devastating.Helped me toughen up and not go back and stop feeling guilty for walking out of a decades long marriage.

UxmalFan · 18/12/2025 13:02

Your DH sounds really out of control, OP. Never mind what the original quarrel was about, he needs to be able to control his emotions and speak respectfully to his family. Please don't let this drop. I'm glad the dog is OK but the main issue hasn't gone away.

Lostsadandconfused · 18/12/2025 13:06

Are you sure it was the dog that ate the chocolate?

Original poster
Mammadrama · 18/12/2025 14:09

We had a chat today, DH very remorseful and upset about the bad night. He explained how work pressure and time constraints have affected him and that I have seems “ aggressive when taking to him” - I think he means my tone. He says I’m loving towards my son but not him , I said this is because of his short fused behaviour over the last few years. We ended the conversation by saying we both need to do better

OP posts:
averythinline · 18/12/2025 17:40

Wow what do you need to do better?? Not get drunk shout and swear and make too punch people?

Your poor child .. and dog ... Do you want your child to see that as way to treat their 'loved' ones...

If you can't see how crap that is for yourself... At least think about it for your child....

Condensationon · 18/12/2025 17:58

Mammadrama · 18/12/2025 10:57

Sorry for all the confusion, I was just trying to remain vague about some details in case anyone ( mainly relatives/ mom friends) are on mumsnet and if I name my profession and /married or not - they could easily piece this together and figure out it’s me. Hope that makes sense. I just reposted it to thank all who responded that night and it was an awful time for me and needed support asap. I was not drunk and our dog is fine thank God.

Edited

I’m just confused. Why didn’t you update the original thread?

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