Why is he rewriting history

[Newlife12]

I am recently out of a long term relationship , it took me several attempts to leave this abusive man but finally I have done it. I found a note book the other day that I had started writing list some of the awful things he did to me over the years and now doing a relationship post mortem.
Just some of the things he did looking back now are dreadful
He physically attacked me leaving me black and blue, from knee to thigh ( I took and kept photos of this ( but totally denies it now)
He was caught sexing a woman ( I have screen shots but denies this too)
He tried his best to isolate me from family
Caused a scene at a family function
During an argument he drenched me down with the garden hose and then stood laughing at me
Drunk driving and driving very quickly and really made me afraid, when I asked him to slow down, apparently this is controlling.
He stole my car whilst I was asleep and helped himself to me bank account and went to another country
Smashing my belongings and helping himself to my things
Changing passwords on my phone and threatening to smash my phone up
The list goes on

The list goes on, yet he is now telling other people who will listen that I am mad and and have mental issues. He has blocked me on messenger and I have no way of communicating as I need him to remove the rest of his crap out of me house. ( i can't chuck out yet as in another country)

I am moving on with my life and feeling so much calmer but don't know why it makes mad that he is still being a total dick

He’s still being a dick because he is and has always been a dick. He’s not going to suddenly have an epiphany and see the error of his ways. Well done for leaving. Take all his stuff to the tip and get on with your life.

Such abusive men do not change and he will move onto his next chosen target in time. To such men it is always someone else's fault and never their own.

I would dispose of his items in your own time. Take it all to the tip or to charity shops. You cannot get hold of him anyway and besides which you really do not want to tangle with your abusive ex ever again.

He's not going to admit to him being a bad person is he and yano what, these sort of men like to themselves so much he's probably convinced himself it's true

Most people know their lying their just not gonna confront them are they, easier to nod along

Despite being found guilty in court and being court ordered not to contact or communicate with me or the children..... 8 years down the line my ex still contacts my friends and family to tell them how crazy i am with made up stories

You'll get to a point where these lies won't bother you and you'll just laugh at what a stupid man he is x

Lifereallyisajourney You hit the nail on the head. He is a bad person and will never see that, everybody else is to blame. Sure your friends and family will have none of it.

Box up his stuff and shove it in the shed or garage (if you have either). Otherwise, put it in the least obtrusive place in the house, cover it with a sheet and forget about it. If he's blocked you, get a friend/family to send him a message saying he's got a month to pick it up, or it's going in a skip.

He'll never change, so don't expect him to admit to anything. Let go of the hope that he'll suddenly realise what a shit he is and move on with your new, infinitely better life

Good luck!

He actually knows he's an abusive piece of shit. He needs someone to blame for that and that has been you. He's not going to admit it though. That's why he lies. It's an avoidance of the truth. When I left my abusive ex, in a moment of drunk weakness, he messaged me saying he was afraid I would tell people he was 'mental and crap at sex'. So he knew. Congratulations on liberating yourself. You will never look back 💐

ChocolateSardine Actually his stuff is in barn and I have sent a message to a 3rd party and given him another month. I have been asking him for months to take his stuff and when I locked everything up he threatened me with the police for keeping his stuff the man is unhinged.
bigboykitty I know he will never change, every relationship he has ended he called them mental, drink obsessed. it was all their faults. You did make me chuckle about the drunken text

To add I found out at the weekend he was at my house. I installed camera's before before I left and these were triggered, so caught him wandering around. He didn't seem to take anything but this makes me very uncomfortable, just don't understand why he was there.

How did he get in your house, @Newlife12 ? Change the locks and send him an email or letter saying if he tries to access your home again you will report him to the police for stalking and harassment.

Echo the person above, change your locks today! And well done for getting rid.

bigboykitty I have someone house sitting and she said she accidently forgot to lock the door (i'm not entirely sure I believe this) I'm blocked on email, messenger and no idea where he is living. Unfortunately the police are not very helpful over there.. All a bit of stress really.

glendabrownlow I have changed the locks, it was made very secure before I left, silly house sitter left it unlocked. I just wish he would just disappear. I am actually beginning to hate him.

You can mull these things over and over in your mind and look for reasons. There really is no point to this. Draw a line under him. Deal with the practicalities of getting rid of his stuff and move on.

That's very suss, @Newlife12 . Is the housesitter a friend or relative of his? Or someone who doesn't want to "choose sides"?

bigboykitty No she is someone I found through the housesitter site, I was very open with her that she was not allow him there and it is my house. I have allowed him to collect things when he requested and been more than fair. But he seems to want to drag things out . She has promised to lock up from now.

You can't let a housesitter who leaves the door unlocked "housesit" any more. Is he charming, when it suits him? Has he got round her?

bigboykitty I agree, she has been told. tbh I don't think she likes him very much and can see him for what he is. She is a very very strong character. He apparently went there when she was out . So sounds like he just wanted to snoop around. He is a total narc, so probably thinks he has the right to go there , bloody weirdo., I keep beating myself up about how I have wasted so many years of my life with this horrible man. But the scales have finally fallen from my eyes.

A bit of an update and rant really. So got a message from house sitter to say that ex had been in touch to say he was coming with some guys to pick up some used tiles I have. She rightly told him to contact me as this is my property. Can't quite believe to audacity of the man. Now advertising my stuff and trying to pocket the money. According to him he is "doing me a favour". He was very rude to me and ended saying he cancelled the deal only to turn up yesterday and take them anyway. He has also been quiet aggressive with the house sitter, thankfully she is off soon. He is such a dick.