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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need some support or a handhold

3 replies

alwayswrong123 · 15/12/2025 11:34

I’m so heartbroken my world has fallen apart

Me and my partner have a 7 month old baby, this weekend my partner has been acting a bit weird and sleeping in late and not getting the baby in the morning as was our new agreement (I do all the nights because he doesn’t hear him apparently). But I’ve got up with him and had to wake my partner up as he’s been up so late. I didn’t question it just whatever.

Anyway this morning I didn’t set an alarm because my partner was to get up first thing and get the baby and sort breakfast for my eldest, giving me an hour in bed before I get up and do the school run.he did not come and get the baby and when I went down to see what had happened his phone was lighting up next to him with Snapchat notifications. My heart dropped.

The last and only time he had Snapchat was when he was sending dirty messages to random girls he found on chat sites and tinder when we were going through a really rough patch 3 years ago. I knew exactly what it was so I opened it up and saw he had intact been messaging 3 girls since Friday night, filthy messages and describing what he would do to her. I had to check because he does lie.

So he’s done it again, I’ve told him to get out. My baby is only 7 months old and I don’t know what to do, I left my home to come live with him. I can’t get anywhere else I’m on maternity and not due back until April and this month onward I will have no income.

I can’t talk to my friends they told me not to give him a second chance when he did it the first time. I’m such an idiot. Things have been tough since we had a baby, we have a very difficult baby. But things were good recently when he did this, who knows if it’s been longer I don’t trust anything he has to say.

I don’t want to bring up another child in a broken him, my first son isn’t his. It was tough and hard then I got to a good place and met him and gave up my independence for a man who does this again and again. What have I done? How do I explain this to my eldest? I feel so lost and heartbroken.

It’s almost Christmas I don’t know what to do, I hate him. But I’m so stuck in this situation. Does anyone have any advice or positive stories because I feel so desperate. I’ve just got my baby down for a nap and I’m so upset.

i know it’s easy to say just leave, but I genuinely have no where to go right now. I’m so heartbroken for my children. How do I deal with the guilt of another broken home….

OP posts:
Sillysoggyspaniel · 15/12/2025 11:37

Oh you poor thing. Can you move back with your family? And definitely tell your friends - they will happily slate him and give you the angry energy you need to see you through these rough rough days.

Mooninjune · 15/12/2025 12:25

Well what a piece of dirt he is. Neglecting his own baby so he can cheat on you with other women.

Honestly OP tell your friends. Tell your family. Take all the support you can from people who care about you.

The guilt isn't yours. You have done nothing wrong. This is all down to him

You are in a really difficult position atm but honestly you are a better off without him. And things will get better.

blankcanvas3 · 15/12/2025 12:31

I’m so sorry OP. Your family and friends will be there for you if you talk to them. Anybody who wants to say ‘I told you so’ isn’t really a friend. A broken home is better than an unhappy home for a child. You don’t need to explain anything in detail to your eldest.

You‘ve been a single mum before, you can do it again. Of course it will be shit for a while, and this isn’t going to be a very nice Christmas but just imagine what next Christmas will be like when you’re rid of this man and you’re no longer heartbroken

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