Narcissistic brother at Christmas

[Blacksheepatchristmas]

At a loss what to do. Family relationships have broken down after parent died last year. Nc with brother due to abusive behaviour & nasty messages but no issues with his wife & dc. Do i reach out at Christmas, include his dc in gifts or just leave it?

Do whatever you usually do for the children. Why would you leave them out because you have fallen out with him?

Leave it. It is no point reaching out to your abusive brother and his wife and children will likely side with him. You’ve considered this because you are a nice person but he is not and you are no contact for good reason. You need to stay well away. I note also that his wife had not reached out to you either.

This is far more than just a mere falling out; there is a sustained level of abuse from her brother towards the op. No contact should be made towards he or his own family unit.

In the period I was NC with my brother I still sent bday and Christmas gifts to SIL and the DC and would send a bottle of wine for my brother at Xmas
When the big fall out happened his wife did message me to say she would like to stay in touch though so it made it easier

No message from his wife to me although I believe she has messaged my dc asking for their details. All dc are adults with jobs so no need for gift giving imo & they never say thanks which annoys me. Think I'm just going to leave it. The less contact I have with them the better for my own health & wellbeing.