NC Christmas wobble

[Thesofathatwas]

I’ve been NC with my mother since around June time.

She has come to us on Christmas Day for years.
This will be the first one without her.

I feel very guilty if I’m completely honest. I know that she will be on her own. (None of my siblings will have her and she will refuse to go to one of them even if they offered, which they won’t)

I’ve not blocked her, she just has zero interest in us so has not contacted us at all, I haven’t contacted her.

Its a sad state of affairs but actually I’ve done it for a reason.

Hate the idea of anyone being lonely at Christmas but I can’t have a relationship for so many reasons.
She probably isn’t even giving us a second thought so won’t be at all bothered, I just feel very guilty.
Can anyone relate?

I best the rest of your family will be over the moon that they aren’t being subjected to her

and if she’s disinterested in you and your family, she probably won’t care

You’ve gone NC for a reason and it’s probably not a decision you will have taken lightly. It sounds like it’s her own fault if none of her family want to be around her so don’t feel guilty.

I haven’t seen my mum at Xmas for a few years. She is alone. It is entirely due to her behaviour. I was no contact with her for 5 years. We have limited contact now she is very elderly.

Yes I do feel guilty. Then I remember all the many Christmases she ruined, with tantrums, screaming abuse at me and drunken behaviour.

None of us is getting any younger. Enjoy the time with your own family, without the spite, tantrums and drama.

Can you spend 10 minutes reliving all the awful Christmases / get together / general behaviours and write it all down? Something to look back on every time you start to feel guilty?

Haven't seen my dm at Christmas for decades. Or her at all since 2012... She volunteers at a soup kitchen for gwh homeless....
I have no guilt.